Why all of a sudden has my daughter started crying during drop-off at school?
My 5 year old daughter has been crying when being dropped off at school. She's been in school already going on 4 weeks. She was fine the first few weeks. I thought it was just because she was tired. So we changed her bedtime earlier. I ask if she likes school, her teacher and the other kids and always says yes. I've asked if anyone is mean to her, she tells me no. So I have no idea why she has had a sudden change. Someone please help!!!
Did you ask straight forward why she cries when going to school? Being direct might help in getting more information from your daughter. Ask her what she likes about school and what she does not. Talk with her teacher to get a perspective and consider going to school with your daughter to observe her day.
Thanks! Yes I did ask her and she said it's because she misses me while she's at school. So far what I've been doing his giving her stickers for herself and a few of her close friends. So that way she has something to distract her. And I've come up with a calendar at home that if she get 5 stickers in a row, meaning no crying or no sad faces in her school folder, she will be able to pick out a toy from the store at the end of the week. With that she's been going really good! She brought home a happy face in her folder along with the teacher writing 'Great!' in there too.
This happened to my 2 year old daughter long time ago. She used to like going to the daycare and for several months she was always looking forward to go to the daycare. But, one day, she started to cry. And the next few days, she started to cry so hard and was not happy to go. My husband and I took turns to stay home for the week, so that she relaxes and forgets about the problem. I ask the caretaker and she said that nothing happened to cause her to behave that way. We started sending her back, but she still cries very badly. And then, we decided to change the day care, and its been a year now, we have no problem with the new day care.
Your daughter has probably just realized that you leaving her every day is permanent. I teach kindergarten and can tell you that most of my students react to their daily "abandonment" in some way. I have students that cry because they think that we will have to call you to come and take them home, especially if that has been a pattern that worked in the past. Many tell me they miss their mommies. Some use attention getting behaviors, such as throwing objects, writing on desks, throwing tantrums, hitting/pushing other students to register their displeasure at being left. Focus on the positive--new friends, a caring adult, favorite school time activities. Ask specific questions to get a better feel for her perceptions of school. For example, "What did you and (friend) do at recess today?" or "What was the story time story about today?" Also, a child's "parent radar" is highly tuned and your daughter will sense any newly formed reservations you have about leaving her which may make her nervous and fearful. Your daughter should adjust, but expect a few relapses, they're normal too!
I have a 5 year old son and he has been going to school for the past two years because he is autistic. My son is a high functioning autistic so you would never know he was unless I told you. This year we had the same problem he started crying and telling me that he didn't want to go to school. Well in about 3 weeks things got better, I would tell him before he would go into school that I love him and that I would be there for him when school was over. I am not sure if you are able to pick her up or if you are there when she gets off the bus if she rides the bus. The teachers told me that it is normal for kids to go through a certain amount of seperation aniexty. My husband and I have it a little harder because my son lives off of routines. I hope that this helps you.
Yes, thank you all for the great advice!! She's been doing a lot better. Talks about what she's learned and sings the little songs that the sings during class! Yes, I'm the one who drops her off in the morning and to pick her up after school. I always tell her I love her and kiss her good bye. She's come so far and I'm so happy with it! :) Today she let go of my hand before we got to her classroom and gave me that look like "You can go now mom". That nearly broke my heart! :( But told her I love you and waved her good bye!
Maybe she doesn't like it there or she is being bullied, sometimes they don't tell all. Also check to see if she being picked on by classmates or even her teacher, don't overlook anything. I know you said that she is only 5 but you should watch the Lifetime movie "odd girl out" . All the best.
It amazes me that people are surprised their 5 year old would cry being dropped off or picked up from school. Like 5 year olds are suddenly teenagers wanting to be away from home. It is completely unnatural for kids so young to be separated from their care givers for sometimes 8 or more hours a day. This crying is about the only way their barely non-baby brains can tell us this is painful.
But good job teaching your kid to stuff down their emotions - you don't care about their feelings - by rewarding them for not crying. I'm sure that will play out well when you need them to tell you things in middle/high school. Incredible.