Do you have suggestsion for how I should change my parenting style?

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w.harris369 asks:

Hello My name is bill, and my wife has left us i have 4 kids 2 older than 18, a 12 year old boy and a 9 year olds girl. I am having a hard time listening to my children if i am understanding the problem when we start a discusion they are feeling that it is more a lecture. That is not my intent i want to have a open and balanced talk but i do think it comes out more as me telling them what they should do or ways to handel it than gettting from them how they think it should be handled how do i change that in me. Or is that my personality. I think it is from being in the military for over twenty years. Open for suggestion.

Thank you Bill

In Topics: Fatherhood

> 60 days ago

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ronald writes:

Bill, this is a great topic, and one that I have given a lot of thought especially having two older boys. One of my boys is a senior in high school and the other one is in college. I find that lecturing to them does not work as well as talking to them when we are not in the heat of a problem. They are much more receptive if I am participating in an activity with them. Bringing up key topics (where we are disagreeing) when having fun and the mood is right works best in terms of their listening. There is a lot to say here, and I will not do it all in one post; however, my degree of success has been keeping the communication channel open with my boys by spending time with them doing things that we both enjoy. Also, participating in activities in which THEY have interest is very important. If the communications channel is open, then a parent will have lots of opportunity to influence his/her child.

> 60 days ago

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ronald writes:

Bill, I also believe CHILDREN should have limits and there should be reasonable rules. There should also be consequences if CHILDREN break the rules. In re-reading your post, I am not sure that I made this point. I am providing a link below that might be a good reference:

http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Nine_Steps_More/

Any thoughts on this?

> 60 days ago

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