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addie122
addie122 asks:
Q:

How can i help and support my little sister who think's she might be BIsexsual?

My 12 year old sister and i are extremely close and im glad she came to me and told me that she thinks she might be BI. However at this point i don't care what she is, what im worried about her is commiting something crazy and harming herself. When we were talking she said she wanted to die, i know at times people just say this to say it but ive watched enough cases where the child is bullied to the point of self suicide. What am i going to do with out my only little sister? i guess my question is how to deal with this, i have no problem with her being what ever or liking whom ever. i just want to her alive. She told me she doesnt want to tell my parents and i have to respect that. please any help at all, this is something so new to me, im a female and 22 but i have never dealt with a confession like this one.
In Topics: Bullying and teasing, Teen sexuality and dating
> 60 days ago

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snoopyrst
Mar 17, 2012
Level

Best Answer!

what's this?
from a fellow member
You sound like the sister of a former student I had whose mother said she is going through the same thing. First to hide this from your mom would be wrong because it justifies your sister's fears about the reaction if she is in fact bisexual. In addition, your mom is supposed toe be your best friend. Nothing should be held from her, but I praise God that you are a caring sister. Your sister at age 12 is still too young for sex whether she was heterosexual or not even though many 12 year olds have done lots in that area. Talk to her and don't stop. Try to convince her to talk to another adult, perhaps a counselor or clergy person or beloved relative, so she can have another viewpoint to this situation. Hopefully, her parents will be supportive and love her even more. Yes, the reality could very well be negative, but she needs help that goes beyond you and your wonderful intentions. I remember my nephew was scared to tell me for years that he was gay, partly because I was sexually abused by a gay uncle as a child and partly because I have never been the most liberal about homosexuality. I was never negative or abusive about them. I just didn't and still don't understand. BUT like the mentally challenged guy in a movie said to John Ritter, I too don't believe that God automatically condemns people because of their sexual preference. God Bless You and you  hang in there, She's a lucky girl to have you. Stay by her side and get someone to help the both of you deal with her questions. Lastly, never hide anything from your parents. I didn't tell  my mother what happened to me for 30 years and it ruined my life to a certain extent.

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Additional Answers (5)

aqblickley
aqblickley writes:
Hi addie122,

Cheers to you for reaching out for support, however an online forum can't provide all of the support you need at this point.

If you ever are worried that your sister's life is currently in danger, you should not leave her side, and you should call 911 immediately.

Additionally, there is a National Suicide Prevention hotline that you can call. There are trained individuals there who can assist you and your sister in handling this scary situation. Your sister can also remain anonymous throughout the call. The hotline number is 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Once you are sure her life is no longer in danger, you should get her help with a therapist or counselor. There are specialists who deal with teen sexuality and can help her understand that her sexuality is normal and natural. They can also help coach you in supporting her.

Continue being the loving and supportive sister that you are, but it's also important that you reach out to a professional for help.

Thanks for reaching out.

Best of luck,
Alex
> 60 days ago

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IAMme!1233
IAMme!1233 writes:
Just let her know that being BI isn't bad and it's normal and no matter what you will love her and if she doesn't feel like its okay just talk to her let her get her feelings out
> 60 days ago

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MelissaDoesNotBully
MelissaDoes... , Student writes:
I think its okay to be bio it doesnt matter people are all the same sometimes i feel i am cause boys are mean and they look in a girl for if thier prettty or not and thats wroung i feel like people need to stop and if she does get bullyed tell the person hey you no what dont judge her by this she is the same nomatter what just because she likes both girls and boys doesnt mean she is different then you she is the same and you have to respect her if you dont then you dont respect yourself. That girls and boys are the same its just that they think differently i learned by talking to my friends that its cool to hang out with someone that is thier not different and one time you will feel like u are .
> 60 days ago

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DaniV.
DaniV. writes:
wether you know it or not you are already doing the right thing. you are loving your sister and supporting her by listening and respecting her as an individual. i would suggest checking some of the teen gay and lesbian sites for more insight on the sexuality issue. my larger concern is the depression and suicidal thoughts. i don't know your parents or why it might be scary to talk to them about the bi issue, but you may need to talk to them about the depression. i loved someone very much who was bi and a teenager. she did not get the support that she desperately needed and desreved, and she did commit suicide. had i known the extent of her pain i would have done ANYTHING to help her. your sister is asking for help. you can either talk to your parents, a councelor at school or look into a local gay, lesbian, bisexual community center in your area, they usually offer counseling there. know that the only thing you can do incorrectly here is to do nothing. you have a plethora of resources at your disposal. i wish that i could offer more, but hopefully this can get you started in the right direction.
> 60 days ago

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AmberSkidmore
AmberSkidmore writes:
Tell your little sis you still love her If shes BIsexual or not,And her life isn't Worth anything anyone says.Talk to her about it and tell her if shes BIsexual it's okay.
> 60 days ago

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