brooklyngirl7 asks:

Talkative Kindergartener

Hello.  I am a 7th grade English teacher whose son just received his first letter home for "excessive talking" and "calling out" in class.  The teacher said he needs to settle down.  Today, when I asked how he was doing, she said he needs to pay attention and was talking again.  This is the gifted and talented class.  I've tried yelling, taking things away, rewarding the good behavior.  You name it.  he is a very talkative child, even at home.  He loves, loves, loves to talk.  He is also a nervous kid.  Always looking for attention or approval of some sort.  I just had another child, who is now 10 weeks old.  I'm sure this is part of the "problem".  Anyone have any suggestions on how to curb the chattiness?  This age is new to me.  I'm used to 12 year olds!  Them, I can handle.  LOL
In Topics: Kindergarten readiness, Discipline and behavior challenges, Parenting siblings
> 60 days ago



Boys Town National Hotline
Dec 17, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

Thanks for contacting!

You don't mention your son's age but in general, Kindergarten is a big adjustment for children, especially if they have not been in a structured environment prior to starting school. Boys are generally less mature socially than girls at this age. Many parents wait to send their sons to school until they are closer to six years old because of the maturity factor. One extra year of maturity can make a big difference, especially in the long term when the child is in middle and high school.

It is great that your son is so verbal and can express himself with his words. Your son sounds like a well adjusted child but he needs to learn proper school etiquette, which will develop over time. At home you can reinforce the classroom rules of not interrupting, taking turns, etc. You and your husband can also demonstrate this by example.  Help him slow down and take some deep breaths when he seems nervous and stressed. Encourage him to use his energy by playing basketball, soccer or just getting outside and playing with friends.

You mentioned that you have a baby at home, and you think this may have contributed to your son's attention seeking behaviors. This is another big adjustment for your son, going from being an only child for 4-5 years to being the big brother. Do your best to include your son in taking care of the baby and letting him hold the baby (supervised of course!). Make sure you and your son have some special time together every day, reading books or just cuddling and talking about whatever. There are some excellent books for children which addresses the issue of becoming the older sibling.  Two which come to mind are Koala Lou, by Mem Fox and Arthur's New Baby, by Marc Brown.

If you would like to talk about this or another parenting issue in more detail, please call or e-mail our Hotline. We are here 24/7 for parents and children of all ages. Take care and best wishes to you and your family!

Cynthia, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline


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Additional Answers (1)

hummingbird26 writes:
He is a social butterfly there is no stopping that and since you are a teacher at the same school he thinks he can get away with more and now that at home he may not get all the attention he has to share but at school he can act up and everyone attention is on him and yelling taking things away are not helping negative attention is better than no attention at all you and his teacher need to work together and find what will work best for all of you
> 60 days ago

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