If your teacher is speaking to you about holding back your K student-listen! There is probably no better time than now to be held back, and if all he needs is time to improve, then now is the perfect chance to give it to him. No, your teacher cannot withhold your child from advancing without your consent, but the fact that your teacher is willing to consider holding back your child (the most expensive and time-consuming plan to improve a child's performance) means she really believes another year will make a difference. Our son started K at age 4 because he wanted to go to elementary so badly (we lived next to the school) and all his older friends already got to go to there. He spent his first year in K mostly watching his classmates, (rather than participating) and enjoying recess and story time a lot. While he met all the criteria to move along to 1st, we fought to have him reattend K, and we're so glad we did! His second year as a Kinder he "knew" what to do. Now he was a leader in the classroom (a position he loves to assume!) and eager to show off to the other kids what was expected of them. He could concentrate and pay attention to the teacher better than his first go-around, and we had the extra time to spend with him. He did have some problems with a few of his classmates from his first year of K wanting to know why he was still in kinder, (it's a small school, so classrooms are right next to each other) so helping him to have an answer for that was important. We told him it was because he started a year earlier that he needed an extra year of K to catch up with other kids his age, and that the teacher needed a helper for the other kids.
Let me be clear, we were not worried about him academically-he was already reading, writing and doing higher math before he started kinder. What he needed was time to learn social skills and develop as a person, and there is NO better time than kindergarten to learn these skills. We did a lot of research about retention in kindergarten, and we're certain we did the right thing for our son. Our school made it challenging-we had to attend parenting classes, have both us and our son be psycologically assessed, be willing to work with a tutor to keep him challenged academically, and submit a proposal about why we wished to keep him back, but after complying with all these steps, we're still glad we did it. We also moved out of the area between 1st and 2nd grade to follow our careers, and now no students at his new school know he attended K twice. All I can say is follow your instincts, if you really believe your child will not benefit from another year of K, than push for what you believe in. However, if your teacher really feels repeating K would be beneficial, think through all the pros and cons and try to hear what he/she is saying in a positive light.
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