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omentaco
omentaco asks:
Q:

WHAT CAN I DO IF TEACHER`S IGNORE THE BULLYING?

My son is in year 2 and it`s a daily battle to get him to school.He says he`s constantly being bullied, even by his supposed friends. Last year was the same.he tells me all except 2 of his classmates don`t like him.He`s a thoughtful and respectful kid, so i don`t understand it.I`ve tried sorting things out with teachers and the principal. Even spoke to a principal at another school, to try and get him moved.
no luck, they say it`s not happening.. the feeling i get from staff is intimidation towards my son.
i`ve witnessed him being slapped in the face, kicked in the shins, thrown to the ground. all with a teacher on duty. they say, "I didn`t see anything", when i know for a fact they did.
i know they have little power towards reprimanding bullies but i`m at my wits end, with my little boy always crying, and fighting with all he has to not go to school.

last year, when this was happening, i confronted the staff and was told that i baby him too much.yeah, because he`s being bullied!!!
his year 1 teacher told him "why don`t you stop acting like a baby or go back to pre-school"... all this because he asked to go to the toilet during reading class.

i`m in desperate need of help, otherwise i`ll consider home schooling. and with me working 2 jobs, that`s going to be impossible.
In Topics: Bullying and teasing
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Feb 12, 2010
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What the Expert Says:


This must be difficult for you as a parent to watch your son being treated so disrespectfully that he does not want to go to school.  If the teachers and the administration have not had anti-bullying training, they may not be aware of the signs and how it can affect children of all ages.  Some kids, especially boys, can play rough together but that is different than bullying.  Teachers should be knowledgeable to be able to distinguish the difference between rough play and hurtful behaviors.

If the teachers are truly using the language you describe, and the principal is not supportive of you and your child, you can take it to the next level and speak with the school superintendant.  No teacher should talk down to their students and make them feel ashamed, no matter what age the child.  

Teach your son how to be resilient.  If someone puts him down verbally or hits him, teach him to look them in the eye and tell the kid to stop hurting him.  You can teach him to use “I messages” such as “I don’t want to play now” or “I want you to stop.”  You can tell him that it is OK to not be friends with the kids that hurt him…he does not have to play with someone who is mean to him.  It is important that your son does not grow to view himself as a victim.  Even though he can not control the behavior of others, he can take control his own behavior which in turn will give him more confidence.  

Thank you for reaching out, and best wishes to you and your son.


Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000


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Additional Answers (4)

dgraab
dgraab , Parent writes:
Hello, Thank you for sharing your son's story. It saddens me to hear about the experiences you've described.

Here is some information about bullying that can help you address this serious problem: http://www.education.com/topic/school-bullying-teasing/ This resource center includes specific steps you can take, as well as information and resources you can share with your son's school.

Here's another resource center that will also help you in effectively communicating with your son's school about the severity of this situation and your need for their cooperation in ending the bullying: http://www.education.com/topic/parent-teacher-relationship/

If you are unable to make progress at the school level, you may need to contact the district leadership. You can research the district's phone number (if you don't already have it) via SchoolFinder: http://www.education.com/schoolfinder/

Please also talk to your son's pediatrician or family doctor about what is happening to him. If your son's school has a school counselor or psychologist on staff, please talk to that health professional as well. Another resource that you can turn to is Boys Town National Hotline: http://www.education.com/answers/profile/Boys+Town+National+Hotline/

It is unacceptable that your son is experiencing physical violence at school, and I urge you to seek professional help for your son immediately.
> 60 days ago

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mamiflores91
mamiflores91 writes:
My daughter also is being bullied at school along with her friend.  Keep a time-line of who is bullying him,when,where,who you've complained to,what is the school (or if outside of school,police) are doing to help you.Be sure to always keep track of when (time) & where the bully is bullying your son. Name calling,shoving or pushing,hitting,threatening,intimidating glares,I mean anything that is making your son feel less of himself is bullying. And let me tell you...a bully will do anything to make your son look like he is the one starting trouble. Be sure to also include in your documents the names of those bullying your son.Go to your local state representatives.If you feel that they are not listening either,then go higher than them.Call your state officials or better yet,go visit them.Have all of your documents ready.Always have extra copies to hand out. Show proof of school records (such as grades if your son is a good student.Or if he has a disability & you feel that this is causing the bullying,have documents showing his disability. Never let your son stoop down to a bully's level.Tell him to hold his head up high.You love him & have faith in him.Tell him how proud you are of him. Tell him to tell you IMMEDIATELY when the bully starts to do something.You as his parent also should complain to the school.I don't care how often you have to go to the school.You show them that you mean business. You show them that you are an active parent of your childs education.The school by law has to provide a safe learning environment for your son.Remember to document everything! You as the parent also has the right to be in your childs school/classroom.Never feel that you can't be there. YOU CAN BE THERE.No matter what. Also when you speak to the school administration,make notes of what's being said & by whom.Keep dates & times of when you have made complaints.When you witness or even when your son tells you that a teacher is treating him the same way...document the event.I would even write the notes in front of whom ever is there.If you can video record with your cell phone that a teacher or staff is witnessing what is going on & your reporting is getting nowhere. Have documents of your complaints. Add the day,time,where it happens,who the bullies are,who you've spoken to. I mean everything. Contact the Human Rights Department & have the school investigated.This is your child & he is feeling terrified of staff & students!Your child is NOT being BABIED! He is being loved by his father! He is being PROTECTED by HIS FATHER!Because nobody else will protect him! You are doing your job as a wonderful parent. Now when is the school, going to do their job to protect your son?!? I know that what I have just posted sounds like too much,but you are your sons voice. Let it be heard! Right now believe it or not...teen suicide is on the rise due to bullying.They are afraid to report it,they are afraid to fight (& they actually should never be told to fight the bully).It's not just teens either.There are students even in grade schools going through all kinds of depression due to bullying. When are they going to stop protecting the bullies? When will they stop turning a blind eye? We as parents have to take a stand & start protecting our children.
> 60 days ago

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Loddie1
Loddie1 , Parent writes:
There is a lot of this bullying issue going on and my theory is due to lack of parental consequences. It is seen more commonly now than ever. I am a homeschooling mother and very thankful to be at that. If you have any questions regarding homeschooling, please feel free to ask me. Go with what is in your heart! A lot of parents homeschool now and data is even showing how the average homeschooled student out performs his counter public schoolers. Colleges even have special scholarships available ( yes, FULL PAID) for these top students! Good luck!
> 60 days ago

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LeighMclind
LeighMclind writes:
I will tell you what to do take it to the next level... maybe go to the pricable or have your mom or dad take care of it If my ideas don't work I am sorry
> 60 days ago

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