When is the teacher out of line? Or is she a bully?

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kellybuys asks:

My son started middle school, during Open House I especially wanted to meet his home room teacher.
We were looking for information on the daily changes & who would be in charge of paperwork for the office & who would receive money due for spirit shirts etc. I waited to meet his teacher & when it was my turn I introduced myself at first things were going well. I explained he is one of the youngest in the 6th grade due to skipping a grade & he had been on honor roll & gifted program in his last school also in the district. As I went into trying to learn the process of who gets what & when things are due who is in charge of the various fees, she stated that it was her and that as his homeroom teacher she would know everything. So I then explained to her that the reason I was asking is because due to the promotion he had received a notice from the nurse the week before about missing shot needed for the 6th grade in Illinois. She did not seem aware of the paperwork the nurse had for us & then I told her that we had the doctor's note on Monday & my son still had the paperwork for the nurse in his folder 2 days & she had not asked for the paperwork. The nurse had been called by me on Monday, we had a fax with the note the nurse needed for the file. I stated do I email you or is my son to tell you he has papers when she looked at my son and called him a bonehead. I was floored by her choice of words. Is this acceptable?

In Topics: School and Academics, My Relationship with my child's school, Bullying and teasing

> 60 days ago

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Expert

BMelton

Sep 20, 2012

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What the Expert Says:

Name calling is not acceptable behavior. We teach children to be respectful and not tease or be hurtful to others, yet this teacher's words were hurtful. You may consider talking to the teacher privately to express your concerns. Be direct but not accusatory. Describe what you observed and what you want to see happen. Here's what you may say: "I suspect that you slipped when you used 'bonehead' when you spoke to my son and me at open house. You have shown a strong interest in working with your students and I wanted you to talk to you privately about my concerns. I would like your reassurance that you will not use words that are hurtful or put-downs."

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Additional Answers (2)

destiny125 writes:

No, it isn't unless she was playing around and you should email the nurse if not already, kids are never boneheads or anything they don't apply themselves all the time that's why.

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> 60 days ago

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msailer writes:

I would not accept that from a teacher. It is inappropriate. Certainly if a child were to call the teacher a "bonehead" the student would be considered disrespectful. Children learn from what is modeled for them, I would complain to the principal and I would tell my child that no one should call someone else a disrespectful name. I think that teacher should be trained in a sensitivity and anti-bullying workshop.

> 60 days ago

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