All my life I was bullied. I've never had true friends. I couldn't find a group of people I fit in with or that liked me. I started cutting in elementary school. Now in high school, I havent stopped. In the begining of the year, I found a group I thought I fit in with. I was wrong. They hate me now, and make my life miserable. I found another group. But this group smokes and drinks. I know they arent the best to be with, but they make me feel accepted, and normal. They are the only people I have ever told of my cutting. My parents recently found out, but they are no help. In fact, they are sometimes the reason I cut. I am depressed too which doesn't help. I sleep 14-16 hours a day, and I have lost intrest in things I used to love. I want to get my life on track, but how?
It really is great to see that you're reaching out for some help and guidance. We can tell that you've been having a hard time and some really strong feelings for quite a while now. Cutting since elementary school really shows how overwhelming your feelings have been, and we're so sorry to hear that. At the same time, it is really encouraging to see you reaching out for some help and support. You are having a tough time right now, and a lot of people would try and bottle everything up inside and try to go through it alone...all that does is make it tougher. Showing strength and reaching out was such a great thing for you to do, it really and truly was.
Cutting is a such a risky and unhealthy way to cope with your feelings. Healthy coping skills allow you to release those negative feelings and energy, not just push them down. All cutting does is push things down because it doesn't express or release any of those feelings you have. Eventually, those feelings always come back up and it results in more and more cutting, and more severe cutting at that. You don't deserve to go through that.
We know its tough to feel such a lack of social support, but that doesn't mean you can't develop healthy relationships with helpful people. The school counselor, for example, would be a great person for you to reach out to. He or she has a lot of experience at helping people work through such a wide variety of problems, including cutting. You deserve to have their helpful guidance and emotional support as you move to overcome your cutting. Carrying all of this weight around on your shoulders is overwhelming, having somebody there to help carry the load can make such a huge difference.
Here is a really helpful link that has a bunch of suggestions for healthy coping skills when you get the urge to cut. Finding ways to overcome that initial urge to cut is really important, and these can help with that:
Stay safe. If you ever feel as though you are going to put yourself into danger please remember to reach out to a trusted adult, our Hotline, or even 911. You matter and your safety is important, please stay safe.
I'm so sorry to hear that you're experiencing this tough situation. My heart goes out to you. You have taken a great first step by reaching out for help. However, an online community cannot provide all of the support and answers that you individually need. Here are a few things you can and should do to get the help you deserve:
-Call a National Suicide Hotline (it's free, confidential, and 24/7): 1-800-DONT-CUT
-Talk to a trusted adult (teacher, counselor, parent, etc.) They will help you find support, and get you to a therapist or trained professional.
-If you ever feel that your life is in immediate danger, call 911 immediately.
I wish you the very best. You can and will get better.
You have to find someone you can trust and talk to..a counselor/friend who will not judge you..Even just one person who accepts you for you..My daughter was a cutter/ grew out of it but still has the scars which slowly are going away. Bless you and find that one special confidant..I know it is hard, but it only takes one!!