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6909
6909 asks:
Q:

What do I Do ? I'm a teen and I'm cutting myself

What do I Do ? Last year when I was in the 7th grade , people around me did it and i thought it was stupid. But as I went through somethings it didn't sound as bad. This year , I have SO many problems in my life and at home with My mom + grades. She is always getting mad and crying if i get a C . & I'm taking pre-ap / honors course and I'm in the 8th grade. and she always yells at me and thinks I'm not "SMART" enough for that. So I just started hurting my self with pencils also i carve in my skin on my rest or ankle where it cant really be seen . BUT if only really did it once but cutting myself i have done only about 2 or 3 times, But when she asked about it i said i fell........ I'm a mess, Sometimes my friends think I'm bipolar or something.. Because some days I'm happy and some I'm sad. but that isn't my fault.. I Used to wish I would die .. BUT NOT anymore.. Ive gotten better on my own.. Ive tried.. No one really understands except my best friend. but i guess since i got that 'C' I have NO way to contact her.. Mom took my phone
In Topics: Cutting
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Mar 16, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

Ideally, you'll want to replace your cutting with something that helps you deal with your feelings.  One good thing to try is writing.  Have you tried keeping a journal yet?  Give it a shot.  Write down everything that bothers you when you feel like cutting and see how it feels.  Another thing you could try is just distracting yourself by listening to music, watching TV, talking to a friend, etc.

If you haven't talked to your parents yet, put that on the top of your list.  They can get you help, and they can keep an eye on you to make sure you're safe.  (Needless to say, cutting is dangerous!)

Good luck!

MKM, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
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Additional Answers (7)

amylouise1994
amylouise1994 writes:
go to your doctor, seek help and advice, they will have specialist services to help you out.
another thing, you can only do you best and that is all that can be expected of you, and if she says other wise then just ignore her, do all you can and be proud of your own acheivements :)

stay strong, xx
> 60 days ago

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sophie.a
sophie.a writes:
Dear 6909 (for lack of name),
I have recently found out my daughter around your age is cutting herself. I think the best thing that ever happened was me finding out, now I understand you don't want to talk to anyone about this, but me knowing about my daughters problems enabled me to get her help.
My twin sister's daughter recently committed suicide (she was 14) and it broke my heart, especially after I found out my daughter was heading down a similar path.
Speak to your mum, but failing that, a trusted adult like a teacher, or family friend will be able to help.
Let me know how you get on
 sophie.a@musician.org

Good luck
Sophie xx
> 60 days ago

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depressed
depressed writes:
i hav been abused practicly all my life and cutting for a LONG time. you are not alone and parent may not understand and i know how you are feeling. my mom just did the same thing. took my phone and all.. i live wit my gma and i am not a hipacrit soo im not telling you not to cut yourself. just a warning ur mom may flip out and send you to a treatment facility and they do not help the will worsen ur depression. people will make fun of u and call u gross, disgusting, stupid, stupid teenager, attention seeker. DONT LISTEN TO THEM. noone can truely know how u feel but you unless they have expierenced it for themselfs. try and tt ur mom/dad they may not listen. go to ur tharipist at school and ask for a professional tharipit or they can tt ur parents 4 u. its not fair or  right for them to ground u for being depressed or cutting urself.
> 60 days ago

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aqblickley
aqblickley writes:
You have taken a great first step by reaching out for help. However, an online community cannot provide all of the support you need. Here are a few things you can and should do to get the help you deserve:

-Call a National Suicide Hotline (it's free, confidential, and 24/7): 1-800-DONT-CUT
-Talk to a trusted adult (teacher, counselor, parent, etc.) They will help you find support, and get you to a therapist or trained professional.
-If you ever feel that your life is in immediate danger, call 911 immediately.

My heart goes out to you, and I wish you the very best. You can and will get better.

Alex
Community Team
> 60 days ago

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BSFAB
BSFAB writes:
Dont worry about your friend.  Worry about yourself.  Stop cutting yourself.  things can always be worse.  you have a home, your mother wants what best for you.  cutting yourself is not going to solve your prolems. Scars are ugly.  tell someone, an aunt you trust, grandma, counselor.  dont bottle your feelings up.   my mom used to yell at me and i would tune her out and not listen.  she wanted me to be smart and had no other way of expressing it. only by yelling.  show her you are smart for her and yourself.  the hard work will pay off.  Why are you cutting yourself? Really?
> 60 days ago

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IAMme!1233
IAMme!1233 writes:
If you need someone add me on facebook kaylirawr123@yahoo.com I went threw the same thing and my mom takes my phone all the time and i feel like i have no one and my friends were cutting and made me think it made things better and it only made it worse iv gotten better to but if u need someone else who understand juss talk to me
> 60 days ago

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SunshineLove
SunshineLove writes:
Dear 6909,

You are VERY SMART (Intelligent:)
The fact that you even asked about what you should do about your situation shows that you are SMART. You know that you need to get some help for yourself by asking someone. That's a very good start. Knowing that you need to ask someone here about what you should do about it, what you call your "problems". I'll call them your "issues":) Someone else might call them CHALLENGES:)... That could make you feel really strong if you call them your CHALLENGES...Since you're working on some CHALLENGES:) .....

You're taking a pre-ap/ honors course, which shows that you are intelligent. A "C" doesn't make anyone stupid either. A "C" is passing and a fair grade. You may just be feeling like you're stupid and a "mess" since you may feel overwhelmed or flooded with things and emotions. You are SMART though:) Feelings and sometimes even formal grades aren't always true indicators of who and what someone is, and of course YOU ARE INTELLIGENT/SMART!:) There are some extremely gifted people in life that failed many times....But never gave up and you only got 1 "C" which is not failing.....
You need to tell yourself that you're Intelligent and start to really feel it while working on those things that will help to get you better and to a better, healthier place in your life. When you feel a feeling or have an emotion, you have a choice as to act on it or not...Other people do the same but not everyone is conscious about that, knowing that they have choices about acting on their feelings and/or how they act or react with their feelings/emotions. There can be alot of emotions in your life due to physical/body and hormonal changes. There's also alot of peer pressure that many experience around your age that can affect your life in addition to situations and stress that your Mom may also be having plus what she wants for you and sees that you are going through. You may have other things going on in your life too or maybe that's all.... Cutting yourself Is Not a Good Thing because you are hurting yourself and your body. You Are Smart. REMEMBER? Cutting, your behavior to cut or your feeling that you want to cut, Is Not Smart. You originally didn't think it was smart when you saw your peers doing it, cutting, in 7th grade. You were right. Their behavior wasn't smart but you were smart to realize that their behavior wasn't smart. Were they bored and/or did they have problems? It seems like you're saying that you learned this behavior from the peers that you were hanging around with then. I have to tell you as a caring person, that I care about you. After reading about your cutting I had to take time to think about it and you and do something to try to help you...I just couldn't not do anything. I do hope that you are still alive and I didn't reach you too late.... You know that you MUST STOP CUTTING and CARVING YOUR SKIN/FLESH because you can get REALLY BAD INFECTIONS and other things can develop from hurting yourself like that. The desire or behavior to keep doing that to yourself may also continue too, like psychologically. It may become an even worse problem all around for you if you don't just stop right now. You Need to STOP cutting. Okay? Do it for you. Stop that behavior to help yourself. That would be the best thing for you, to just stop right now if you can. Hurting yourself with pencils isn't good either. You could even develop poisoning, like lead poisoning too and have to go to the hospital and stay there until they get lead or whatever out of your body plus you would probably have to see a psychiatrist about your cutting and carving too if admitted for lead poisoning and/or infection. When I was in first grade my teacher had me sit next to a boy that kept putting his pencils in his mouth and he kept hurting his skin with his sharpened pencils' points (arms, legs, mouth, etc.) He developed a case of terrible Lead Poisoning and had to go to the doctor and was admitted to a hospital. Most of us graduated from that first grade class, but I can't remember him coming back to finish first grade that year. Then I moved from that area so I never saw him and hope he got better. He wasn't cutting though. Thinking about that and hearing what you were saying above, I don't want you to have that problem, developing poisoning and infections from using your pencil(s), etc. I know that you're alot older than that person that was sitting next to me in first grade many years ago. Regularly cutting yourself with something else like a knife isn't good either. You're hurting yourself and that's not good for you. Just Stop It.

Have you seen a school counselor, teacher or nurse and talked to them or anyone that can help you regarding what is going on in your life with the peers, cutting, your mom, your understanding friend, etc. ? Do you go to a Church? If you go to a Church, you could also talk to a pastor or someone that deals with teens there, like a youth minister or youth pastor, or someone else like a nurse or doctor there, about the it, all of it that's going on?....
Is your best friend from school that you can't call now, the only one that knows about what's going on in your life and understands you? If he or she is a friend, another peer, your age, you should try to get someone like a teacher, counselor, doctor or nurse that you can feel comfortable talking to about the things.... while doing something about them. It should start to make you feel better then you can come up with a good, healthy plan to deal with the "problems"/issues. Then you'll see more positive results and feel better. Getting good grades is important for you and your future. You do need to think about that, your grades. You can always pull them up if they were or are dropping. It's important to keep them up if you can. Many people get tutors. If you need one, you could also get a tutor too or ask your teacher(s) for extra help.... What would you like to be when you get out of school? What do you think you would like to do for a living... a career? Have you thought about it? There are so many neat things to do in the world today right now and to be working toward...You're still young.... You do have things that you like and things that you do well in? Think about those things. What are they? List them if you want to. You can also sort through what's going on in your life like that too.... Listing your positives and then those things, your problems, weaknesses, whatever may be your issues, that you think may need to change and/or you may need some help to make positive changes in your life. I hope that is helping you to think more and TO make positive changes in your life:)

HOW ARE YOU RIGHT NOW? It's been about 60 days (2 months) ago that you posted your question. I was on line and happened to be led to this education website as an educator. What do you think, see and/or feel right now? How are you doing in your school? Do you like school or not? What kind of people are you hanging out around school and at home? Are they nice to you and respect you? Are they good for you OR do they bring you down and hurt you? What's going on at home? Are you okay? Are you safe? Are you still hurting yourself OR your body by cutting OR carving today or this past week or past month? If you are, then what are your "problems", those things that are bothering you, etc.? Is there anything else than what you've said about in your question online at this site? .... The cutting behavior started when you were with and around your peers in 7th grade...then YOU starting doing it to yourself afterwards. Do you have anyone that's an adult or a teacher at school, a guidance counselor, a school nurse, a family doctor or if you go to Church, a pastor, etc. that you can talk to about the things. "Your Friends" who are not doctors right now may have called you "bipolar" but they aren't qualified to diagnose that. How did that make you feel when they called you that? If you have seen a psychologist and/or a psychiatrist then they would be diagnosing that or would have diagnosed a condition(s) or if it's something like stress, anxiety, pain, etc. If you haven't been to your family doctor for a checkup, even a physical, you should go and get checked out first to see if you are okay physically. Do you have insurance that you can go to the doctors for a check? Has your mom taken you lately to the doctors for a check up now that your going between tween and teen? A family doctor or internist may send you to a counselor, psychologist or even a psychiatrist if they think you might need one. A counselor at school may or may not have you go see one out of school....Remember there is nothing wrong in case you should see one, a counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist, or need to see one or if you've already seen one.... Some have different specialty areas though, like children and teens or adults or anxiety, ptsd, trauma, separations & divorces, relationships, family issues, illnesses like cancer, etc. If you see a counselor, etc. it should be someone that you feel comfortable with. Being a tween or a teen isn't easy though some might not admit it but most probably will, that it's not the easiest time in ones life. The change between the two isn't easy at all. There's alot of physical and emotional changes that happen as well as school changes between 7th and 8th grade then into 9th grade/high school years and other adjustments in life.

What do you like to do or love to do? Do you have things that you feel really good about, people, animals/pets, etc. in your life that that you really, really like, love or even care alot about? Try to also look at the good things in your life. While doing an inventory of the things in your life that are your "problems" that need some help to make positive change, you also have some Great Things...Like your intelligence, you have at least one friend that "understands" you.... If you can you should list them all on paper, the good on one side and the problems /challenges/issues on the other. It seems like your mom is also very concerned about your grades. She may also feel helpless in some ways too. It might be good for her to talk to someone else about what is going on in her life and your life. She may also NEED that, to talk to a counselor by herself and maybe even with you present to work through the things with you, that affect both of you. Just because you feel like you're riding an emotional roller coaster with highs and lows doesn't make you "bi-polar". People have feelings and emotions. Sometimes it may be harder than other times for you to deal with the emotional stuff. If you still feel like wishing to die then you Need to Get Help IMMEDIATELY. Remember feelings aren't right or wrong. Sometimes we feel things, emotions/feelings, but we don't have to act or react on every feeling especially if it's not a good or happy one. Sometimes feeling can seem to be very overpowering or even too strong. Remember they are feelings and it makes you and others human. You don't have to act on all of them (negatively) like the cutting. You could act on it by writing instead of cutting or substituting the negative behavior with something that's positive and healthy for you.... Something that you enjoy doing. Wishing to die is not a good thing or a good feeling. It can be very depressing. That is one thing that you must not act on in a bad way. Suicide is not an answer to any problem. There's a reason that you're here on earth and a reason that you're alive. You're young and have a whole life ahead of you. There will be great things for you to look forward to if you can work a little more through those CHALLENGES. I know it! You're not alone.... Remember that! ....Count your positive things, your blessings, even if you can only come up with a few or a handful... Some people may only have one thing... You at least have two or three if not more right now....You started mentioning some above....The good, positive things (blessings) will increase in your life when you're positive and you'll be happier. Concentrate on those things that make you happy while doing the things that are good and healthy for you. Eating good foods, having a well balanced diet and exercise can also been great for dealing with life. Listening to good music, if you like music.....Doing fun, healthy things...Being with quality, caring people. Laughing at funny things even learning to laugh at yourself sometimes....It's supposed to be good medicine...Laughing... It's working for me and my life....
Are you doing those things and also getting enough sleep? ...
Please let me know what is going on with you and/or let another adult that you trust and that can help you get through some or all of your "problems"/"issues"/ CHALLENGES that you've shared. If they can't do it, HELP YOU THEMSELVES, then they need to help you find someone that can help you. Have a good weekend. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers! Take good care and Be Good To Yourself. Surround yourself with Nice, Good, Caring, Loving, SMART/INTELLIGENT, Kind, Focused, Safe People.

I've given you some things to think about and hope that I helped you. You need to keep helping yourself out too. Be good to you!

If I can get back here to this site and have my web resources, I'll try to get you some more resources for what you need. Things and people (websites), etc. that can help you. You should be good though:) You are asking about it, WHAT SHOULD YOU DO, and therefore know that you need a help to get you to the right place so you'll feel and be better. Stop cutting today if you didn't stop yet. Think of What Is Good in your life and count those things, your blessings each day! You can even write about them. Take good care of you.

Happy Spring to you!:)
(Even though I'm allergic to grass, I love seeing and smelling the flowers in the Spring, the Birds flying and singing, Ducks quacking, Walking my dog, etc..... It's a Time For New Beginnings for Life...
It's A Great Season For You to Make Great Changes and For New Beginnings, Positive Change For You...)

- Sunny Love:)



****EXPECT GREAT THINGS AND GREAT THINGS WILL HAPPEN!****

Mar 24, 2012

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> 60 days ago

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