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Anarchy2499
Anarchy2499 asks:
Q:

My ten year old is watching shows that she used to hate for her friend. She also started to have crushes and she used to think boys were icky.

her friend is a complete gossip ans sass machine and is changing my daughter. i wish i could do something to help but i cant, this is her first friend since we moved from asia.

                      
In Topics: Children and screen entertainment (TV & movies), Friendships and peer relationships
> 60 days ago

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Expert

JeanneBrockmyer
Nov 5, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

Your child is lucky that you are concerned about her.  I would take a little less hard line than the person who first responded to your question.
It is typical for children her age to want to be like their friends, and to begin to have "crushes."  In your case, making a new friend after moving from a foreign country may make it even more important for her to have a strong identification with a new friend.  You didn't describe the tv shows so it's hard to know if they are inappropriate for her age. Actually, that is up to you to judge.
If you can just tolerate a small behavior change in your daughter temporarily, it's probably best to do that.  If it seems more than small, or more than temporary, you might want to talk with your daughter's family doctor or pediatrician about your concerns.  

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Additional Answers (2)

knitfreak
knitfreak writes:
Ok Anarchy2499,

Let's start with the most important element here. You are never powerless in parenting your child. You are the adult and your ten year old is still the child. You can change what you believe needs to be changed. Secondly, if your daughter is spending time with a child that is influencing her toward inappropriate  behavior it is 100% up to you to turn the dial. Bring changes such as introduicing her to other activities that she enjoys with children that  are upstanding in character. Watch movies with her that show how hanging out with kids that behave poorly can get a person into unwanted trouble. Discipline your daughter's behavior when she is around you. X behavior equals x discipline. When you believe that a behavior that is surfacing in your daughter is a direct result of interaction with the child make some of the discipline be grounding from the friend. Distance can help us see the mess we were in. Most importantly, teach your daughter that she never ever has to accept inappropriate behavior to have a friend. Teach her to have the courage to stand up for herself with this friend and you will be teaching her to have the courage to stand up for her self in relationships with young men. Your daughter having courage starts with you having the courage to change the situation for the betterment of your daughter! Blessings!
> 60 days ago

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helper13
helper13 writes:
Talk to her about it.Tell her not to get mad at you and that it is your job to be concerned and in her business my parents do it to me and it is there job.Just sit down with her and talk about all your issues with the situation and see if you can come up with a compromise and ask her if she actually likes this girl.Good luck
> 60 days ago

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