haylasmom asks:

I need help thinking of reasonable consequences for a 10 yr old who cannot seem to manage time or follow directions in a timely manner?

My daughter, who has ADHD, is in general a really great kid. She doesn't lie to me, she isn't mean or spiteful, she gets along well with just about everyone.
I am having a big problem though thinking of and following through with reasonable consequences for her. Our daily schedule doesn't allow for much in the way of early bedtimes or taking away of electronics..
when this happens, she only gets her "punishment" on the weekend (the only time she can watch TV or play electronic games).
it's playing in the shower, or playing when she needs to get clothes or things ready. Even when i think of something I feel like it's ridiculous later, help!!
In Topics: Parenting / Our Family, Discipline and behavior challenges, Communicating with my child (The tough talks)
> 60 days ago



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Jun 3, 2013
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What the Expert Says:

Since children with ADHD have a hard time focusing, time management and following through on tasks can be especially difficult.  As a result, you may want to think in terms of things that can be done before the behavior, rather than consequences afterward. It may also be helpful for you to look at intent vs her ability.
1.  Eye contact will be key in helping your daughter to focus on the instructions you are giving her.  You may ask her to repeat the instructions back to you to see if she understands what you are asking.
2.  Are there times of the day where she has a more difficult time...tired? hungry?
3.  Break tasks into smaller steps and have her check back with you. You may also try writing the steps to a task down on paper and have them check the steps off once they finish them.
4.  Use a timer to ger her to finish tasks in a timely manner.
Above all, be patient.  Kids with ADHD need to be reminded/re-taught frequently.  If you have concerns that her behavior is getting worse or creating problems in school or with relationships, speak to your doctor and get further guidance from them.

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Additional Answers (1)

courtneyand... writes:
I'm not an expert but as a parent I can relate.  Would she where a watch?  Perhaps if you wrote down what she's supposed to be doing at an exact time and post it in her room and in the kitchen she can look at her watch and see what she's supposed to be doing.  It sounds like she lacks focus and maybe having something visual will help her.  It's worth a try if everything else is failing.  Also maybe you could buy a timer and set it in the morning when she gets up for example giving her 10 minutes to get dressed or a 15 min alarm for her bath letting her know time to finish up.  I hope it works for you.  Good luck.
> 60 days ago

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