Donalette asks:

what type of discipline should we use for our 7yr. that wont stop lying and stealing?

In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago



Boys Town National Hotline
Jun 11, 2013
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What the Expert Says:

Whenever our children demonstrate behaviors that we do not like, it helps to figure out what he gets out of doing it and why it continues.  To figure that out, it helps to ask yourself the 5 W's;  
Who, who is he stealing from, who is around when he steals?
What, what happens as a result of his stealing?
When, when does this happen, during the week, day time, night time, recess?
Where, where is this happening, only at school, in public, at home?
Why, why does he want these things, why is he taking them?

The next step is to teach him to get that need met in a more positive way by teaching him alternative behaviors or skills that he can do.  He should be taught "Honesty", "Asking Permission", "Respecting other's Property".  To teach these skills we recommend using 3 simple steps;
1. Describe what you would like him to do. (Be specific and clear)
2. Give him a good reason for doing it this way. (Make sure it is a reason he can see the benefit to him.)
3. Have him practice what you have described. ( Have him actually do it, not just tell you what he would do.)
Monitor him more carefully, perhaps checking his pockets and back pack daily when he comes from school or from an outing.  Check his room thoroughly to monitor objects that are new or out of place.  At his age, this issue should be addressed daily, in the morning, after school and again at bed time.

If time goes by and you do not see the behavior as frequently, praise him and slowly ease back on the monitoring.  Getting a handle on this behavior while he is young will be important for his social development and to prevent more serious issue in the future.

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Additional Answers (2)

Mr.Cloud writes:
Idk if it would work for a seven year old but I know that the worst thing for me is when my parents shun me. They have a blank look on there face and just stare at me blankly refusing to look away it annoys you to no end but it only works when you catch him in the act and he knows it t is horrible when they won't even talk sensible to you always answering in as few words as possible
> 60 days ago

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Jenjungers writes:
I don't know if this helps or not but I did the same thing as a young child. I did it because I was the youngest and my older sister well she always had such an easy time making friends and she would always pick fun at me in front of those friends or would even worse just plain ignore me. I so I had a harder time making friends but even at a young age I think I was also about 7 or 8 I started finding money my mom nd dad would put up high so at first it started out a $1 here and there and I would walk up to the local store and there would be kids from the neighborhood up there so I would buy them candy and stuff in an attempt to help me fit in. Stupid I know because of course they started asking for bigger stuff and next thing I know it was out of controls. And when I stoppe buying stuff for them of course they stopped talking to me. I stopped doing by I think the 4th or 5 th grade when I guess that is when I started making real friends and started oming out of my shell. Really it took those friends telling me how wrong it was those other kids were asking me to do these things. It's crazy how much other kids have controls over your action specially at a young age. Now with all this being said I think the thing my parents struggled with the most is I never told them why. I was to ashamed of the fact I couldn't make friends when it came so easy to my sister. I don't know why but I guess in a way I thought they would love her more if they knew how socially awkward I truly was. I know how silly all ths sounds now but back then it made sense. Hope this helps.
> 60 days ago

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