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Deb20
Deb20 asks:
Q:

HELP ME PLEASE URGENT !!!!

help me please i have a 4yr old son who is rude,naughty,doesnot listen,angry,agressive.Last yr i badly damaged my back have had surgery and very limited in things i can do but still try and do things with him...my 4yr old son does not listen to either me or his dad he is all of the above more times than hes good.we try to disapline him but he just pushes his luck we have tryed everythin eg,taking away toys,sending him to his room using the naughty spot removing cartoons smacking we are at the end of our teather we have tryed reward charts,bribary praise when he is good but nothing seems to work he is very intelligent and ready for school (sept) im scared when he goes to school he is going to get into serious trouble PLEASE HELP !!!!!!!!
In Topics: Parenting / Our Family, Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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even123
even123 writes:
It sounds as though you have exhausted your resources.  As you know, parenting is difficult and sometimes a third party is needed to get things back in order.  I have taken my child as well as myself to a psychologist to get us back on the right track several times.  There are also local parenting centers that you can go to (google "parenting center" on the web with your city name) and often these centers are based on a sliding scale if you need financial assistance.  

After you have had a few visits with a psychologist and the family/parenting center and you still feel that you need additional help, you may need to visit a pediatric psychiatrist and look at other factors such as ADHD or other child mental disorders.  I would also keep your pediatrician in the loop as they often have other children and parents in the same circumstances.  

If your child does end up taking psychiatric drugs, I would continue to see a psychologist and your pediatrician and have all three doctors communicate with each other on your child's progress.  I don't think it is ever a good idea to put your child's care in just one person's care for any reason.

Also, get referrals!  Don't just go to a psychologist or psychiatrist because they are on your plan.  Call them and talk to them first.  See if they are a good fit for your and your child.  

Good luck to you and your family...hope this helps!
> 60 days ago

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CJA829
CJA829 writes:
Hi Deb20,

I'm sorry you and your son are having a difficult time. While it sounds like you've tried many techniques, it also sounds like you may need to try finding one that you like and stick to it. More than anything else constancy is key. If you're consistent with punishments or rewards, or whatever method of discipline you choose I think you'll have more results in the long run rather than trying out many different things. Your son may have the sense that one method of discipline is just a phase that he can wait out.
He will of course test his boundaries and your patience but clearly marking out consequences for undesired behavior and always following through will let him see he can't just get around it. Remaining calm can be hard too, kids sometimes know what buttons to push to frazzle us, but it's also important to dole out punishments dispassionately if possible and not dole out punishments in reaction to being annoyed or goaded.
Sometimes parents will find their rebellious child at home is perfectly well-behaved at school and I think that comes from a sense of structure. In that case, you may want to talk to his teacher whenever he does start school and you can replicate the discipline system at home if it's working for him at school.

Good luck! Thank you for you question. I hope this is some help.

~CJ
> 60 days ago

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CJA829
CJA829 writes:
I recently saw this response by Kat_Eden to another parent's question about trouble with their misbehaving child and I thought it may also be of use to you.
Every person's situation is unique of course but there were some good suggestions that can be applied to any household.

~CJ

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Deb20
Deb20 writes:
thank you all so much for ur advice i will explore all options ....i will try any thing once again thank you i will keep you all posted x :-)
> 60 days ago

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