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lizziebell
lizziebell asks:
Q:

I've got a friend that is just a big jerk

she breaks promises, lies,gets her own way and she is a winy baby
Member Added on Jun 9, 2011
and her parents have a problem, her mom spiols her too, never gets in trouble.
Member Added on Jun 14, 2011
and i have anther friend too and she is really mean when i am not there
In Topics: Friendships and peer relationships
> 60 days ago

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Expert

AnnieFox
Jun 9, 2011
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What the Expert Says:

It sounds like you're not very happy or comfortable in this friendship. So I'm going to ask the obvious question: Why are you still hanging out with this person and saying she's your "friend." Think about it for a minute. You know how a real friend is suppose to act. So why are you putting up with all of this??

Maybe she didn't used to act this way. Maybe you two have been friends for so long it's kinda of gotten to be a habit and you can't imagine your life without her. Whatever your situation, I'll tell you one thing... if you don't let her know that the way she treats you isn't OK, then you will continue getting more of the stuff you don't like.

Have you already told her that you've had enough of the broken promises, lies, bossiness and whining? Have you told her that you don't treat HER that way and you're not willing for her to do it to you? If you haven't already told her directly (in a calm and respectful way) then your silence is part of the problem. You see, in friendships and in the Bf/Gf Zone too, we teach people how to treat us. If we don't like something, we let people know and if they value the friendship and our feelings, then they change their behavior. If we don't let them know, then we send them a "silent" message that says, "What you're doing, right now, is OK with me. Keep it up!" I realize that's not the message you want to send... otherwise you wouldn't be writing in for advice about how to get your friend to stop being "a big jerk."

So, either you stay silent and continue being treated badly in this relationship OR you speak up for yourself and let her know that if she continues you are going to take a break from this friendship. When we speak up for ourselves it's a way of being our own best friend.

I hope this helps!

In friendship,
Annie
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