I have a 14 year old son that has been totally humiliated at Middle School. Another boy pooped and urinated in his gym locker. To make it worse, my son's "so-called" friends did not tell him; so, my son walked around all day in shoes that had been urinated in. He went to gym class and unknowingly put on the shorts & shirt that had poop & urine on them. He was the object of teasing throughout the day and feels completely alone, humiliated and betrayed by friends. We're getting him into a counselor as soon as we can - hopefully tomorrow. He refuses to go to school tomorrow. What do we do?
We are so very sorry to hear that this happened to your son. Please, please tell the school administration about this as soon as possible. Go to the principal, the school counselor and school social worker. If nothing happens, go to the superintendent. The boy who did this needs to be held accountable and disciplined. There is no excuse for this type of behavior. If he does not receive consequences for his actions, he is getting the message that he can get away with humiliating one student, and he can do it again.
Continue to comfort and support your son and help him to understand that he is not to blame in any way. This was a traumatic situation. Don't push him to go to school without meeting with the school administrators first. Depending on how things are handled at the school, it might be the best thing for him to change schools and get a fresh start. This will depend on the reaction of the school officials taking this seriously and if they commit to a strong anti-bullying atmosphere in the school. If they don't seem to make helping your son and disciplining bullies a priority, then you may not want to keep your son at this school.
Our Hotline is for parents and kids who are going through many different issues, including bullying. You can call our toll-free number and speak with a counselor or you can e-mail us. Your son can also call or go to our website: www.yourlifeyourvoice.org From the website he can read what other kids are going through and e-mail a counselor if he wants. It is a very positive site and is appropriate for 'tweens and teens. All of our services are available 24 hours, 7 days a week.
Take care and we hope to hear from you and your son soon.
Cynthia, Crisis Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
This is a terrible, terrible act that these children did and it should not go unpunished. At the time this happened, your child should not had worn the shoes that been urinated in and should have went straight to the principal, guidance counselor, teacher or someone in authority and this matter should have been dealt with then. Not to mention, the germs he was exposed to by wearing the infected shoes, etc. But that is hindsight and I'm sure that he did what he thought to best at the time. Keeping him out of school will only worsen the situation, he should attend school, but not alone, both Mom & Dad if possible should take the child to school and speak with the principal about this matter to insure that nothing like this happens again. You probably face the problem now though that it is after the fact, this will make it harder for the principal to take appropriate action, but I would insist that the parents of the bullies be contacted and brought to the school for a discussion along with the children involved to prove that your child nor you will stand for such disrespectful acts. Bullies are a big problem in schools now and it must be stopped, do your part now to prevent anything like this from happening again. Meanwhile don't be so hard on the "friends" they probably felt helpless and fearful of what the bullies would do to them if they had told. Chances are that they will be a victim at a later date because that is usually how it works, if a bully will harm one child, they will harm another sooner or later. The fact is that the child that did the bullying is the child with the problem and is the one in need of counseling. Insist that your school handles this matter appropriately and offers assurance that nothing like this will happen in the future because you will directly hold the school responsible since they are now aware of the problem. Best Wishes!