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l The Dude l
l The Dude l asks:
Q:

What would you make of this..should we be concerned about a poster on our son's wall?

My son is 7 yrs old and recently bought a magazine that had a poster of one of the teenage celebrities and asked if he could put it up on his wall.  I initially didn't think much of it, until I realized it was a poster of one of the Miley Cyrus clones.  I don't recall her name or show, but my wife did say she's the one he had been talking about recently and saying she was really pretty.

In short, I'm not sure what to make of it.  Is it a crush or an expression of his feminine side?  I asked him if he wanted her to be his girlfriend, which seemed to embarrass him a bit.  I asked him, are you sure?  She's really cute and he just played it off which I thought was fairly normal.  The later option I mention as a possibility because he is a bit more feminine that most boys his age.  He can likes to play fight & rough-house like most boys, but will also play barbies w/like aged female cousins which I hear happens more than most people think.  It's really more the way he carries and expresses himself.  Sometimes it just comes across very feminnie other times it doesn't.

Should we be concerned about the poster?  Any valid reason to take it down?  I lean towards no - let it be.  But wanted some more input.
In Topics: Self esteem and identity
> 60 days ago

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kat_eden
kat_eden , Parent writes:
Hello,

I wouldn't read too much into it - or make him take it down. I have a 7 year old boy too and I've noticed that he's just starting to form his own opinions about what's "cool". And already it's clear to me that things I suggest as "cool" go to the bottom of his list and the things I try to discourage go straight to the top of his "cool" list.

I think it's great to try to engage him in a conversation about something that's important enough to him that he wants to give it wall space in his room (you could ask what he likes about the poster, whether or not he's seen the show the girl is in, if his friends talk about the girl, etc). But I'd try not to assign too much meaning to what he puts up in his room or to judge it (unless of course he tries to put up a picture of a girl who's inappropriately dressed or something that depicts violence or something else you don't think is healthy for him). It's nice that he has that space to express himself a little.

I'd also try to avoid embarrassing him by suggesting that the girl on the poster might be a "girlfriend". Boy/girl relationship at this age are getting really tricky (some "crushing" but also a lot of "boys / girls are 'icky'"). Trying to keep healthy friendships going between boys and girls is a challenge so if your son feels like you think any girl he likes is his "girlfriend" he may push away all girls which would be too bad.

Good luck!

Kat
> 60 days ago

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l The Dude l
l The Dude l writes:
All valid points.. the more I think about it the less it appears I should take any action.  It came up again at dinner last night & he just said he's a big fan of hers & then asked if he can put up a few more pictures.

Perhaps it's not typical of boys this age to have posters of girls and that's what got me thinking.  In particular in light of his feminine side I suppose..
> 60 days ago

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