Dear Rick,

First and foremost let me express my profound sympathies for your loss.  I hope that you are receiving counseling from qualified grief counselor, religious leader or a person who is not a family member. The reason I do not suggest a family member is that they too are grieving alongside with you, just differently.

To help your daughter I would suggest that you may want do the following:

1- Equip yourself with a cadre of people who can reliably watch your daughter and give you time to work through your grief.   You will want to have some normal downtime to engage in regular activities when you are ready.  (And someday you WILL be ready.)

2- Get a few great books to answer general parenting questions.  I recommend books from the series- WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN....
Also, Brenda Nixon has written THE BIRTH TO FIVE BOOK which is another great resource.

3- Keep a journal.  Write your feelings down.  Also, write down your new joys.  Some people find that writing a letter to their child or their deceased partner is an effective way to help through the grieving process. You will help answer future questions for your child too by writing now.

4- Find ways to enjoy time with your child.  Go join others with play dates.  Gymboree or at the local YMCA perhaps?  Give yourself permission to find joy in your day.  And photograph your child during her milestones.  Someday she will want to see photos of when she was a baby, a tot and documenting her life will prove to be helpful to both of you.

5- If you have ANY concerns about your child's development call the local school district and ask for a consult with the Early Intervention Team.  Also, keep your pediatrician in the loop.

Again, my sincere sympathies.  If you wish, please let us know in the months to come how you are doing.

Louise Masin Sattler, NCSP
Nationally Certified School Psychologist
Owner of SigningFamilies.com
Host of Learning and Laughter with Louise