sadafzahid
asks:
Q:
I am worried about my 3 yrs old son who doesn't want to speak and behave.He always likes to play video games on computer and watch cartoons.
Hi everybody,
Today I am here with a very serious issue regarding my son
1- He is 3 years old but he does not want to talk .I tried so many thing with him like I ask him to say "water" though he was thirsty and wanted to drink water but he did not say it and started shouting and crying. This is the problem I am facing almost everyday.
2- Whenever he goes outside like market ,mall or some other place he lay down on the ground and starts crying.This thing creates a embarrassing situation for us .
Last week I took him to the school for admission interview and he did the same.He lied down on the floor and under the chairs and table .He did not answer any question asked by the teacher and kept crying.One more thing he did, he started hitting me.I felt so embarrass at that time because I am also working in the same school.
there were some other children who came for interview but non was behaving like that.because of his strange behavior the teacher said your child is not ready for school.
3- At home he loves to lay computer game he is very intelligent he can play jigsaw puzzle ,Recognize flat shapes count 1-10 .At home also if he does not watch cartoon or games he fights with his 56 years sister and beats her .Some times he beats me and his father also and feels so happy after doing so.
I am a working woman and my husband goes to office as we return from the school then he comes very late from his office he does not have time to spend with his kid but on week ends
P
In Topics:
Technology and my child, Discipline and behavior challenges, Communicating with my child (The tough talks)
Today I am here with a very serious issue regarding my son
1- He is 3 years old but he does not want to talk .I tried so many thing with him like I ask him to say "water" though he was thirsty and wanted to drink water but he did not say it and started shouting and crying. This is the problem I am facing almost everyday.
2- Whenever he goes outside like market ,mall or some other place he lay down on the ground and starts crying.This thing creates a embarrassing situation for us .
Last week I took him to the school for admission interview and he did the same.He lied down on the floor and under the chairs and table .He did not answer any question asked by the teacher and kept crying.One more thing he did, he started hitting me.I felt so embarrass at that time because I am also working in the same school.
there were some other children who came for interview but non was behaving like that.because of his strange behavior the teacher said your child is not ready for school.
3- At home he loves to lay computer game he is very intelligent he can play jigsaw puzzle ,Recognize flat shapes count 1-10 .At home also if he does not watch cartoon or games he fights with his 56 years sister and beats her .Some times he beats me and his father also and feels so happy after doing so.
I am a working woman and my husband goes to office as we return from the school then he comes very late from his office he does not have time to spend with his kid but on week ends
P
> 60 days ago
What the Expert Says:
Additional Answers (7)
It sounds like your child needs to know that you are willing to set limits. Tantrums will only continue if you react to them. If possible, ignore and you will find he stops soon. Tolerating your child hitting you or anyone else is ridiculous. You should let him know that it's not okay and stop him from doing it. If setting these limits doesn't work after being consistent for a couple of weeks, you may need help from others such as your local school system. If you don't stop these behaviors at this age you may find they persist and worsen which can lead to many issues and difficulty for him to maintain friends.
Resources:
> 60 days ago
Wow. You're in quite a situation there... I can deliver advice, but it's up to you how you take it.
One time i watched Supernanny, and there was a kid about your sons age who acted like that. He had autism, but I don't think that could be the case here. His intelligence described in 3 tells me so. And another thing, kids (ESPECIALLY THAT AGE,) will throw fits and cry when they want something. You just can't give in. He needs to learn to interact with others in a proper manner. Ways to do that? Your son loves video games. Get some games that teach manners, logic, and other social/intellectual necessities. If he is beating you and his family, he might be thinking, "This is okay. They never do or say things about it, etc..." You need to stand up to his behavior. Face it head-on and just straight up show him, "I will not take this." Try to find other, healthy physical and mental activities to do one-on-one, as a family, and try to bring other kids, too. It will not be easy. But it MUST happen sometime. And this age is the perfect age to start. it's like teething. It's painful, but it has GOT to happen. If you want further advice, watch a couple episodes of Supernanny! I think it's on the WEtv channel, or on Oxygen network. I wish you luck with this journey, i hope you can put my advice to use, and I will keep you and your son in my prayers. :).
One time i watched Supernanny, and there was a kid about your sons age who acted like that. He had autism, but I don't think that could be the case here. His intelligence described in 3 tells me so. And another thing, kids (ESPECIALLY THAT AGE,) will throw fits and cry when they want something. You just can't give in. He needs to learn to interact with others in a proper manner. Ways to do that? Your son loves video games. Get some games that teach manners, logic, and other social/intellectual necessities. If he is beating you and his family, he might be thinking, "This is okay. They never do or say things about it, etc..." You need to stand up to his behavior. Face it head-on and just straight up show him, "I will not take this." Try to find other, healthy physical and mental activities to do one-on-one, as a family, and try to bring other kids, too. It will not be easy. But it MUST happen sometime. And this age is the perfect age to start. it's like teething. It's painful, but it has GOT to happen. If you want further advice, watch a couple episodes of Supernanny! I think it's on the WEtv channel, or on Oxygen network. I wish you luck with this journey, i hope you can put my advice to use, and I will keep you and your son in my prayers. :).
> 60 days ago
bribe him. if he likes candy than tell him" if ull act good and speak than i ll give u candy" seriously!!!!!!!!!!
> 60 days ago
Are you reprimanding your son for his poor behavior? I have a five year old and a three year old and I put them in time out (away from their toys, tv and each other)when they misbehave or mistreat each other. You have to make sure that you let him know that his behavior will not be tolerated. This is very important because when he does start school, you do not want him to hurt other children. My three year old did not like to talk until recently. He did a lot of pointing at things and whining but my pediatrician told me to be firm and not allow him to point and demand without speaking. If he starts to shout, put him in time out. After a while he will learn that time out (away from all the fun things he likes to do) is where he will end up when he falls out screaming or hits people. I definitely think you should put your foot down now because it will only get worse as he gets older. If it is still a problem, you may want to seek a professional or child psychologist. Good luck and stay firm.
> 60 days ago
Lack of discipline and structure from mom and dad. You never mentioned what the consequences are for these actions, yet he continues to have privileges like playing video games and watching cartoons. Working is no excuse. We are a working family also. Why don't you put him in preschool. He can use some of that energy towards learning more.
> 60 days ago
don't worries about that because he is like me I am 15 years old and I shy to speak to another person so don't worry about that
ok bye
good luck
heenal
ok bye
good luck
heenal
> 60 days ago
Your child seems to have delayed language development. This is often associated with the kind of behavior you describe. If a child can't express himself in words, then he has to use behavior. The tantrums you describe sound like frustration. It's very important that you talk with your pediatrician or family doctor about his language development as soon as possible, the sooner the better. The earlier a problem with language development is addressed, the better the outcome. With improved language skills you will likely see improvement in behavior.
Your child also seems to have some important strengths. His ability to play computer games suggests that he has good nonverbal abilities. Just pay close attention to the content of his games and limit the time he spends playing alone. Many experts would recommend half an hour a day for a child his age.
Jeanne H. Brockmyer, Ph. D. education.com expert clinical child psychologist
Your child also seems to have some important strengths. His ability to play computer games suggests that he has good nonverbal abilities. Just pay close attention to the content of his games and limit the time he spends playing alone. Many experts would recommend half an hour a day for a child his age.
Jeanne H. Brockmyer, Ph. D. education.com expert clinical child psychologist
> 60 days ago
