jrisavy
asks:
Q:
Am I worrying too much about my happy 12 year old daughter?
My daughter is in 7th grade and appears to be very happy. She had a best friend through 5th grade and was very hurt by this girl. She says she has friends in school, has kids to sit with at lunch every day, has friends on the school bus but does not socialize at all outside of school. I know these other "friends" do get together outside of school. My daughter just seems not to be included. She will occasionally invite a friend over but seems to prefer to be home with us. I don't know if I should push - she says when I push her it causes her to pull away so I guess that's not a good thing to do. Do I just leave her alone and let her know she can talk to me whenever she wants to? It just bothers me to see her home all the time but I guess that might be more my problem than hers.
In Topics:
Self esteem and identity, Teen issues, Friendships and peer relationships
> 60 days ago
What the Expert Says:
Additional Answers (3)
Hi,
I may not be able to help as much as "the expert" who answered your questions, but I am a male who is around the same age. I agree with what she says, but personally, I don't have too many friends, and I stay at home alot, and I'm fine, because I like to be at home and I'm glad that I have a few really good friends, and to me that is all that matters.
I DO NOT RECCOMEND taking her to a therapist. Trust me. When parents who are concerned about this sort of thing take them to a therapist, it isn't pretty.
I DO RECCOMEND that you should talk to her about this.
I DO RECCOMEND (if you live in a safe enough area and your child and her friend both have cell phones) that you let them go out in the neighborhood, or go shopping together, or whatever.
I DO RECCOMEND encouraging her to hang out with her friend, but subtly. "Hey, why don't you hang out with "so and so" today?"
I DO NOT RECCOMEND getting in their space. They are girls, and rarely would include mothers at this age, unless you are a cool mom
AND IT IS ABSOLUTELY OK for her to have friends that are boys. I have a friend who is a girl and we are really good friends, and not dating. We just have a friend relationship.
Good Luck,
Andrew
I may not be able to help as much as "the expert" who answered your questions, but I am a male who is around the same age. I agree with what she says, but personally, I don't have too many friends, and I stay at home alot, and I'm fine, because I like to be at home and I'm glad that I have a few really good friends, and to me that is all that matters.
I DO NOT RECCOMEND taking her to a therapist. Trust me. When parents who are concerned about this sort of thing take them to a therapist, it isn't pretty.
I DO RECCOMEND that you should talk to her about this.
I DO RECCOMEND (if you live in a safe enough area and your child and her friend both have cell phones) that you let them go out in the neighborhood, or go shopping together, or whatever.
I DO RECCOMEND encouraging her to hang out with her friend, but subtly. "Hey, why don't you hang out with "so and so" today?"
I DO NOT RECCOMEND getting in their space. They are girls, and rarely would include mothers at this age, unless you are a cool mom
AND IT IS ABSOLUTELY OK for her to have friends that are boys. I have a friend who is a girl and we are really good friends, and not dating. We just have a friend relationship.
Good Luck,
Andrew
> 60 days ago
no do not leave her alone but talk to her about whats going on in school and try to relate.
> 60 days ago
