shash
shash asks:
Q:

What's wrong with my son?  His behavior is horrid.

Can any one help me plz?  My nine year old son is so different from my other 3 kids.  His nursery thought he needed to be seen by our cdc because he didnt mix or join in.  We didnt find them much use and they sent us to parent classes.(it was awful).later he started school and his problems got worse,he started walking round the classroom,wouldnt do his work,wouldnt talk unless he had to ,he used to rip his work up and didnt care that his he was getting in trouble.the school got senco involved but still noboby new what was wrong with my son.we moved his school thinking it might help but hes just as bad this school has got senco involved .at home hes naughty he has a poor diet, his sleep is awful he takes forevever going to sleep and wakes through the night getting in my bed.hes always wanting to have a bath and would have as many as we would let him,just lately hes started having cold baths.he hates lots of his clothes he tells me they itch so he wont put them on.his screaming is driving me mad if he cant get his own way he will shout stamp and scream,hes 9yrs old now and when out in public its horrid the way people stare at us.hes no getting violent with his temper he hits his sister.i wouldnt mind but sometimes he looks as if he enjoys being bad.he has no friends,cant blame other kids i wouldnt want to play with him ,he gets bossy with other kids and doesnt like adults.i have never met a child like him .we are waiting to see camhs at the moment .
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Mar 24, 2009
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What the Expert Says:

I'm sorry you are dealing with such a frustrating situation with your son right now. I noticed you wrote this question several weeks ago and wanted to follow up to see how things are going. It's hard to say exactly why your son is behaving the way he is without seeing his actions firsthand, however, in addition to having a psychological evaluation completed, I would encourage you to look at any outside circumstances that may be causing him to feel the need to get attention. For example, has the family experienced any big family transitions recently, such as moving, divorce, parent job loss, or adoption of a new sibling?

What types of discipline have you tried when he is acting out in the home? If you feel like you are not getting the help you need at his school, have you requested an individualized education plan? You mentioned a few agencies that we are not familiar with such as senco and camhs that you were in contact with. Have they been able to help you in any way? Please know that if you need to talk to someone more specifically about your son's behavior, please feel free to call the Boys Town National Hotline at 1-800-448-3000. We're here 24/7 and are designed to help parents and teens. I hope you have received some additional help for your son in the past few weeks, but if not, don't hesitate to call us.

Sincerely,
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000.

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Additional Answers (13)

Edu-Katherine
Edu-Katherine writes:
Hi Sharon,

Gosh, it sounds like such a hard and sad situation for you and your entire family to be facing. My first question would be to ask you if you have had your son assessed. There is obviously some sort of behavior disorder at hand. You mention that you didn't find CDC helpful. What did they say?

Edu-Katherine
Community Team
> 60 days ago

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ilovechefwilliam
ilovechefwi... , Teacher, Caregiver writes:
I would talk to the teacher about setting up a meeting with you, the counselor, and the teacher.  It sounds like he has some sensory issues.  There might be some sensory diet things you can do to help with some of his behaviors.  A good OT can help with sensory issues.  I teach children with autism, and alot of this sounds like some of my students.  Good Luck!
> 60 days ago

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Hopkins253
Hopkins253 writes:
Sounds like you need to spank somebody's ass.
> 60 days ago

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dduck
dduck writes:
try a paddell like the good old days .dont beat him.just give him a hug
> 60 days ago

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dduck
dduck writes:
try a paddell like the good old days .dont beat him.just give him a hug
> 60 days ago

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imkumar
imkumar writes:
we should spare time instead of complaing our kids some where we are responsible for their behavior and speak regularly dont scold first you gain confidence of your ward, no one motivate your child to behave properly you both husband and wife revive your relation ship with your kind, take him regularly church take him old age home Ansyelm sensitise him tell mim stories in quite calm way.
> 60 days ago

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mom.of.4
mom.of.4 writes:
Request the school do an academic evaluation.  Google some things like ODD and ASD...sounds like one of the two, or both.
> 60 days ago

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MommaRuth
MommaRuth writes:
I have a five year old son and he has all the same problem.. He has been in counseling for 2 years now and has been diagnosed with ADHD {Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder} ODD { Oppositional Defiant Disorder} Learning Disabilities, and Sensory Defensiveness. I am a single Mother { I have a Boyfriend But not his kids } I also have a 3 year old that has almost passed my 5 year old up in some areas. Now my five year old has been in preschool for 2 years and it is terrible. and after i couldn't find any help or good advice that worked, i took matters into my own hands. and I spent days on the web searching every one of these barriers, my son is also being evaluated by school psychologist to help get ready for kindergarten.. He is smart as all gets out, but like you said sometimes its like he enjoys being in trouble. I stopped the hitting by letting his brother hit him back, or when he tattled on his brother for hitting him i told him that he taught him how to play with him so eventually it stopped because he didn't like getting hit. The sleeping with me well my boyfriend helped with that one.. but we would just let them cry and every time they came out we would just walk them back in their rooms and out them in the bed without saying anything.. that took us 6 months. now he goes to bed but he still gets up to go to the bathroom, or what i refer to is play to pee pee poop poop game, because he just has to see where i am.. Now my oldest son did live in a domestic violence home and seen things a little boy should not have ever seen. that's why he is in counseling. my youngest son was just a baby and doesn't know all the past things that have happened. now i don't know your circumstances, i am just trying to give you what has helped for me.. so back to the question at hand.. Anthony my oldest takes a lot of time and energy from me, because of his behavior so i came up with a behavior plan for home and school and he has to earn things... if he goes to school and talks and interrupts he can't talk at home. like i have said i spent days and still working on it to find what would work for my son. the one thing i have learned is any kind of punishment doesn't work. his time outs need to be a learning task not a time related task. i have to be consistent and so does everyone who deals with him. he has a notebook he takes everywhere that whoever can fill out. his teachers, grandma, granny, dad, dad's girlfriend, baby-sitter.. i have basically made an instruction booklet on how to take care of my son and what will help him. i hope this helps.

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ClarenceK
ClarenceK writes:
It sounds a bit like sensory processing disorder
> 60 days ago

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zmomneedshelp
zmomneedshelp writes:
My son has been very close to the same way as yours. He was diagnosed with ODD (oppositional Diffiancy Disorder). they didn't say he was ADHD or anything else just blamed me for the temperament and attitude. He is 17 now and since February or 2013 he has refused to go to school at all. every year when the school starts he goes for a few days and then wont go anymore. once he turned 16 the school system no longer cared about his education and refused to help me to get him to school. I know a lot of parents are going to ridicule me for not beating his but to get him there but let me tell you that I did this from the time he was in Kindergarten till till he was to big for me to move. then he was escorted to the school by teachers and police. his biggest problem when he was young was he didn't seam to be bothered by any punishment we dealt out. weather it was to take away games, tv, phones, or even went as far as to take everything out of his room but a mattress, (which a psychiatrist told us to do), nothing phased him. he also seams as if he enjoys the punishments and I was at a loss of what to do. My son also had sleep issues and they have gotten severely worse as he got older. it started by not sleeping all the way through the night until he was around 14 to sleeping for extensive hours at a time or not being able to sleep at all. he has many specialists and doctors through out the years and none have come up with anything they can pin point with him other than he is a out of control child. when he was younger he alot like your son but through us showing him how much hitting hurts and trial and error, he has been much better about the hitting. it took along time and the police had to get involved for him to figure it out but he is now starting to learn how to control some of his temper and can be loving at times. He even went as far as dong good things for his sister! I know this may not help you with a diagnoses for your son and my story isn't exactly the same. However I know that with perseverance and a lot of outside help things will get better. it wont be like your other children, i know I have two other children that were raised with the same morals and responsibilities as my son and they are doing great! but it will get better once he starts to understand that what he does is wrong and there are consequences for the wrong. you just have to figure out what in his life actually means something to him. for us it was hard to find because it changed so often but eventually it will happen. if you do ever figure out what is wrong with him let me know it may help my son also. I just hope they figure it out before he is as old as my son.
> 60 days ago

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Verizon7
Verizon7 , Student writes:
Do you know Jesus?If you Pray to him,he will help you with your child's behavior.Accept him as your Lord and Savior and leave your sins behind.This Would help your child.
Resources:
> 60 days ago

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Verizon7
Verizon7 , Student writes:
Do you know Jesus?If you Pray to him,he will help you with your child's behavior.Accept him as your Lord and Savior and leave your sins behind.This Would help your child.
Resources:
> 60 days ago

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