shweta.sriv... asks:

My two and half year old boy is hyper active, naughty and turns in controllable especially in front of grandparents

My 2 and half year old boy becomes in disciplined especially in front of his grand parents. He doesn't want to eat his food, don't tell potty, throws things on floor, bites, hit other children and laughs while doing so. When he is with me alone, he is a disciplined boy, who takes meals, tells potty, listen stories, play with kids in park, go shopping with me and also have fun. He takes us for granted in front of his grandparents. I try to scold him when he does wrong things, sometimes hit him. I have noticed that his health comes down because of all this (whenever he is with his grandparents (maternal and paternal). It is obvious in an Indian family to provide extra love, care to the first child by grand parents. I cannot change it, but am very irritated and concerned about my child's behavior. His paternal grand parents will now be living with us, and its becoming more difficult for me to handle the situation. Its not that they do not understand, but when he cries, shouts or do similar things on any body's scold him, his grand parents becomes soft, and tell us always that don;t irritate he is just a child.
My concern is, in this development age this may become his permanent behavior. He does everything opposite. He will go to pre school this july. Pls advise, as his health deteriorates because of all this, he is becoming hulligan day by day.
In Topics: Physical Health, Children and stress, Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago



Wayne Yankus
Apr 26, 2013
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What the Expert Says:

Dear Shweta:

The good news is he recognizes how to behave with you, his mother.  Therefore, it is unlikely he will be always like this with other people.  If his grandparents don't have the same rules or expectations as you do, he will act out because he knows he can do it.  My suggestion is to reward him for good behavior in front of his grandparents with a treat of some sort.  It should come from you or the grand parents so that he knows they like good behavior also.  At two and a half there is little understanding of behavior. They do understand voice tone, facial expressions of disapproval etc...however, life is all about them. It is selfish. Being nice to non parents--even grandparents--can be a difficult task. Since they are moving in with you, start now with rewards for good behavior.

Wayne Yankus, MD, FAAP
expert panelist: pediatrics
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