daycaremomm... asks:

I have a six year old that is out of control.....HE hits me, screams, and is just totally defiant I have tried everything therapy, behavior modificati

My son is in first grade and for about a year and a half his behavior has begun to escalate. He has been kicked out of private school because of behavior issues, I have had him evaluated by the school district and they say that his behaviors are so inconsistent its difficult to give him a proper diagnosis. He is verbally abusive to me and he has become physically abusive as well. He is so angry all the time and just refuses to do the right thing. He see's a therapist once a week and I have provided him with a tutor whom is also a special eduction teacher. I have attempted numerous behavior modification techniques that will be great for a day and then he could care less. I have involved him in extra curricular activities such as boys scouts, kung fu, and we will be doing Yoga together.  I just dont know what else to do I just want my sweet, kind hearted, loving little boy back.
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago



Boys Town National Hotline
May 10, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

You are doing so many things right.  We are sorry that nothing seems to be working.  The best advice we can offer right now is do your best to maintain and continue to work with the therapist, school, and with the behavior modification techniques.  Also continue to utilize the tutor and perhaps look into getting some additional help with him around the house in the form of a helpful relative or babysitter.  The more people you have around you to support you while this is all going on, the better you will be able to manage it all.  Ask the therapist about more intensive interventions including In-Home family services and residential treatment.  The extra curricular activities are great, please continue to do those.  

Sometimes when it comes to helping our children the best we can do is help them maintain.  There are so many biological and developmental changes in those first few years that as soon as you may think you have the solution figured out, everything is turned on it's head due to the many changes the child is going through.  We wish we could give you a magic answer that would change everything with your child, but there is no magic.  Patience, persistance, and fortitude are qualities you obviously have, continue to rely on those and continue to problem solve.  Also continue to do your best to keep an open communication with him about how he is behaving.  If you can pick up some cues about what is going on with him, than be sure to share those with the therapist.

Also please know you can call our hotline at ANY time!  We are specialists in working with parents and if you call us we will review your situation with you and brainstorm some possible new techniques and things to try.  We also have an extrensive national database of services you may want to seek out for you and your family.  

Take care!

Counselor, Dominic
Boys Town National Hotline-A Resource for Parents and Teens

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