Mellody
asks:
Q:
Do I tell my seven year old he has AS? He was diagnosed a year ago and is exremely bright. He feels differnt sometimes from other children and is shy.
He has been in martial arts since he was four and I have encouraged his social interaction with other children. He seems confident with himself, but I worry about bullying as he gets older. Some children have called him strange or weird because he talks in a manner older than his actual age. I'm not sure if telling him would explain to him some of the things he is experiencing or make him feel even more different. It is hard to understand even as an adult let alone trying to explain it to a child.
In Topics:
Autism & Aspergers Syndrome
> 60 days ago
Answers (2)
Hi Mellody,
This is a really hard one and I've heard people advise both ways. Some say it's important for kids to be able to name their condition and other say giving them that "label" is detrimental.
Whether or not you decide to tell him he has Aspergers Syndrome, there's a lot you can say to him that will at least help him understand why he's not like everyone else. You could say something like "Your brain works a little bit differently than the way a lot of other people's brain works and that's part of what makes you so special. There are lots of really wonderful things about the way your brain works - like the fact that you notice lots of details when you're exploring the world that other people never see and the fact that you're really good at (fill in the blank - music, math, etc). But there are some things about the way your brain works that sometimes surprises people. Like sometimes when you say things it sounds like you're a lot older than you really are! Sometimes when kids get surprised their reaction is to be a little bit mean and to tease the person who is different than they are. They're doing that because they don't understand so if that happens it's really important for you to remember how very special you are and to think about how boring the world would be if everyone was exactly the same."
Make sure he knows that it's always ok to talk to you if someone teases him. As he gets older it will be more and more important for him to have you as a "safe place" to come to.
He's lucky to have a mom who's thinking about these things and who's there for him the way you are!
Good luck!
Kat
This is a really hard one and I've heard people advise both ways. Some say it's important for kids to be able to name their condition and other say giving them that "label" is detrimental.
Whether or not you decide to tell him he has Aspergers Syndrome, there's a lot you can say to him that will at least help him understand why he's not like everyone else. You could say something like "Your brain works a little bit differently than the way a lot of other people's brain works and that's part of what makes you so special. There are lots of really wonderful things about the way your brain works - like the fact that you notice lots of details when you're exploring the world that other people never see and the fact that you're really good at (fill in the blank - music, math, etc). But there are some things about the way your brain works that sometimes surprises people. Like sometimes when you say things it sounds like you're a lot older than you really are! Sometimes when kids get surprised their reaction is to be a little bit mean and to tease the person who is different than they are. They're doing that because they don't understand so if that happens it's really important for you to remember how very special you are and to think about how boring the world would be if everyone was exactly the same."
Make sure he knows that it's always ok to talk to you if someone teases him. As he gets older it will be more and more important for him to have you as a "safe place" to come to.
He's lucky to have a mom who's thinking about these things and who's there for him the way you are!
Good luck!
Kat
> 60 days ago
my son is ASPERGER'S & ADHD he's in middle school he's in the school band that was a good start because he's starting making friends but last year was soo bad he was having problems with others kids they start to bullying but i went to the school and talk with the teacher's they help him a lot thanks god that stop.I try to explain to my son about his condition because he ask me why he was different from others kids he try to understand he's soo smart in math he has trophies. He's in 7grade he's doing good in school better than last year.try to explain in words that he understand. i hope you can doit
24 days ago
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