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Mellody
Mellody asks:
Q:

Do I tell my seven year old he has AS? He was diagnosed a year ago and is exremely bright. He feels differnt sometimes from other children and is shy.

 He has been in martial arts since he was four and I have encouraged his social interaction with other children. He seems confident with himself, but I worry about bullying as he gets older. Some children have called him strange or weird because he talks in a manner older than his actual age. I'm not sure if telling him would explain to him some of the things he is experiencing or make him feel even more different. It is hard to understand even as an adult let alone trying to explain it to a child.
In Topics: Autism & Aspergers Syndrome
> 60 days ago

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kat_eden
kat_eden , Parent writes:
Hi Mellody,

This is a really hard one and I've heard people advise both ways.  Some say it's important for kids to be able to name their condition and other say giving them that "label" is detrimental.  

Whether or not you decide to tell him he has Aspergers Syndrome, there's a lot you can say to him that will at least help him understand why he's not like everyone else.  You could say something like "Your brain works a little bit differently than the way a lot of other people's brain works and that's part of what makes you so special.  There are lots of really wonderful things about the way your brain works - like the fact that you notice lots of details when you're exploring the world that other people never see and the fact that you're really good at (fill in the blank - music, math, etc).  But there are some things about the way your brain works that sometimes surprises people.  Like sometimes when you say things it sounds like you're a lot older than you really are!  Sometimes when kids get surprised their reaction is to be a little bit mean and to tease the person who is different than they are.  They're doing that because they don't understand so if that happens it's really important for you to remember how very special you are and to think about how boring the world would be if everyone was exactly the same."

Make sure he knows that it's always ok to talk to you if someone teases him.  As he gets older it will be more and more important for him to have you as a "safe place" to come to.

He's lucky to have a mom who's thinking about these things and who's there for him the way you are!

Good luck!

Kat
> 60 days ago

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ASPIESMOM
ASPIESMOM writes:
my son is ASPERGER'S & ADHD he's in middle school he's in the school band that was a good start because he's starting making friends but last year was soo bad he was having problems with others kids they start to bullying but i went to the school and talk with the teacher's they help him a lot thanks god that stop.I try to explain to my son about his condition because he ask me why he was different from others kids he try to understand he's soo smart in math he has trophies. He's in 7grade he's doing good in school better than last year.try to explain in words that he understand. i hope you can doit
> 60 days ago

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shopgirl11
shopgirl11 writes:
I have a 12 year old step son that has autism. He is very high functioning as well and very smart. From a young age he knew he was different because he has speech problems and what not. I do think it is best to tell him. Sometime these children feel that they are all alone. Sometimes it even helps to cope with having autism if they realize what they are doing. My step son used to do the stemming a lot and I told him to stop and then told him the reason. After I told him to stop doing it many times he soon realized what he was doing and does not do it near as much.

I also make my child a list of chores to do this really help him keep on track. He knows what his schedule is and it gets him through the day. He is now in middle school and i was scared to death that someone would have to tell him what his schedule was and to switch classes and what not. He does not need any help on that and he has always been in regular classes.

My son actually has many friends at school. He did tell me before that someone was bullying him. Now he seems to have more friends at school and people really do like him.
> 60 days ago

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ohdonna
ohdonna writes:
Hi Mellody, my son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD at almost 4 years old. He just turned 10, and I believe it is good to to tell your son. My son has social and behavioral issues that need to be addressed constantly. I always go over with him how he might have done things differently and got a better outcome. It usually takes some time, but eventually he will try what I have suggested. There are a few children in his class who know how to push his buttons. Unfortunately, he has reponded in the wrong way with aggression. I told him just to ignore those particular children, instead of rea-acting (which I am sure they want) and to search out the children who he can relate to in a better way. This is beginning to work for him. Also, he sees me on different sights on the computer regarding AS, sees the books I read and hears me talking about AS frequently. I feel it is better for your son to know, therefore he will be able to cope better when situations come up in the future. He is very special, just as my son is. It can be so challenging at times, but is well worth the effort!
> 60 days ago

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AMAZONA
AMAZONA writes:
Definetly , is the best way for him to understand that every one is different . check the library the have great childrens book in the topic my 10 years old son also has Asberger
> 60 days ago

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