happychild asks:

How can I help my two year and ten months son to be more independent?

my son tries to do a lot of things himself;as(putting on his shoes),but the problem is that he can't do some skills as(holding the spoon or a crayon in a correct way);and I think that is because I do them for him.It's me the reason being impatient seeing him dirt his clothes..Help me and him...Thanks
In Topics: My child's growth and development, Preparing my child for preschool, Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago



Boys Town National Hotline
Jan 25, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

At his age he is actually becoming more coordinated and can probably put on and take off some of his own clothing.  This is a great place to start.  Make sure to tell him and show him how to do it, and allow him the time to work on it himself.  Encourage him and try to resist the temptation to “just do it yourself”.

Before bed in the evening let him work at getting his pajamas on, choosing the book he wants you to read and picking out his clothes for the next day.  Give him two or three choices of outfits.  Have them together and he can just indicate which one.

When you are working on preparing a simple snack, have him help you.  Provide him with a small but safe stool that he can use to watch or help you with what you are doing.

Assign him simple tasks such as getting out the peanut butter, or getting a spoon out of the drawer.  Praise him each time he is able to complete the task.  In fact in the beginning, praise his willingness to try something new.

Nurturing a child helps them develop self confidence and consequently more independence.   Remember to always use nurturing by thinking of the acronym SCALE.  

S stands for support.  That is providing children with physical and emotional support.
C stands for caring.  Showing affection for children through everyday actions like preparing nutritious meals and ensuring that they have sufficient sleep
A stands for acceptance.  Showing unconditional love.
L stands for love.  Displaying physical and emotional attachment (appropriate to the child’s age and developmental level)
E stands for encouragement.  Offering children hope, courage, and confidence.

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Additional Answers (1)

kat_eden , Parent writes:
Hi - don't be too hard on yourself, or him.  I think as parents we all have to balance these issues.  Sometimes you have time (and laundry capacity) to give your toddler half an hour to practice eating on his own.  And sometimes you've got to get through a meal quickly with a presentable child at the end.  

Lots of kids his age are still working on how to hold a spoon or crayon "the correct way".  My five year old is still working on proper crayon/pencil skills in kindergarten!  

So, I think as long as you encourage your child's independence as often as you reasonably can you're doing fine.  

Good luck!
> 60 days ago

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