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Helping Your Child Become a Responsible Citizen: Activities III (page 4)

U.S. Department of Education

What to Do

    Children need guidance in choosing friends who care about others and who act responsibly.
  • Talk to your child about what she thinks a friend is. What qualities should a good friend have? In addition to being fun, is a friend honest, dependable and compassionate?

  • Talk to your child about how to tell when someone is not a good friend. For example, does the person tell lies or cheat? Say things to hurt the feelings of others? Pick on children who are smaller or not as strong?

  • Get to know your child's friends. Invite them to your home or take them along on a trip to the park or bowling alley. Observe their behavior and listen to what they say to each other. It is very important for you to know with whom your child is spending his time. Sometimes a child will select friends who are inappropriate. Often, after these friends spend time with the family, the child independently realizes that they don't fit in.

Listen to Your Feelings

Children need to learn to notice their feelings and take them into account as they make decisions.

    Our feelings often provide helpful warnings about what are good and bad things to do and about whom we can trust.
  • Help your child learn to identify his feelings. Talk out loud about how you are feeling. Ask him how he is feeling.

  • When reading a story or watching a TV show with your child, discuss the feelings of the characters. What might they be feeling and why?

  • Help your child realize that sometimes the way we think about things affects the way we feel. If something is bothering your child, help him examine his thoughts and change them so that he feels better. For example, your teenager may worry about how he's ever going to hold down a job and support himself. You could ask him why he's so worried about the future and help him get his mind on doing the best he can in the "here and now."

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