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What Would Your Child Do If...

  • He/she were lost at a shopping mall or at a large gathering such as a carnival?
  • Someone they knew wanted to play a game and keep it secret?
  • A friendly stranger offered him/her a ride home after school?

Kids are trusting by nature. With parents finding it difficult to teach children to balance trust with caution, parents should teach kids keeps them safe and how to handle dangerous situations.

At School And Play

  • Urge your children to walk and play with their friends. Tell them not to play or walk alone, and stay away from places that could be dangerous, such as vacant buildings, alleys, etc.
  • Work out safe routes to and from school, stores, and friends' houses. Walk the routes together and show them places they could go for help.
  • By teaching children to settle arguments with words, not fists you are creating safety and non-violence. Teach them to walk away when others are arguing. Let them know that teasing can hurt friends and make enemies - and even hurt them.
  • Urge kids to be alert. If they see something that doesn't seem right they should tell a trusted adult.
  • Check out daycare and after-school programs. Ask about certifications, staff qualifications, rules on parent permission for field trips, reputation in the community, parent participation, and policies on parent visits.
  • Check out the school's policies on absent children. Are parents called when a child is absent?

Bullying

Bullying can be a serious problem for kids. It is one of the most minimized and persistent problems in our schools today. The sad thing is - it's a reality for all children, whether they're victims, witnesses, or they're the bullies.

Children are born into the world innocent - without defenses. Another child or an adult comes along who is a product of abuse, rage, or being a 'bully' victim and the cycle continues. Whether it's at school or at home, anyone who is bullied will very often feel depressed and have low self-esteem. And if you're a bully, you are more likely to be hostile and antisocial.

Bulling can cause serious problems which tend to be ignored by adults. Anyone can be the target of bullying. A typical victim is usually shy, sensitive, and perhaps anxious or insecure. Sometimes children are picked on for physical reasons such as being overweight or too short, having a disability, or belonging to a different race or religious faith.

About Bullies

Some bullies are outgoing, aggressive, active, and expressive. They use brute force or harass someone. Others can be more reserved and manipulative so they are not recognized as bullies.

If Your Child Is Being Bullied

Sometimes the effects of bullying aren't as obvious as a black eye. Other signs to look for include:

  • The sudden appearance of bruises, missing belongings, or the invention of mysterious illnesses or stomach aches to avoid going to school.
  • Your child may be embarrassed or feel weak by admitting he's the victim of a bully. To make it easier for your child to talk about it, consider asking some thoughtful questions.

Often a child will unexpectedly change routines to avoid a bully. Or you could ask about what happens before or after school or during recess. You might also try asking if there are any bullies in the neighborhood who have threatened to hurt any kids your child knows. This might make it easier for your child to talk about bullies because he won't necessarily have to talk about his own experiences. It might also help your child realize that he's not alone.

If you learn that your child is the victim of a bully, do not overreact. Remember that your child is the victim; you do not want to add to your child's burden with an angry or blaming response. Although it's understandable that hearing your child is being bullied would make you sad or upset, try not to let your child see that - he might interpret your sadness as disappointment in him.

Helping Your Child Stand Up To A Bully

  • First, listen to your child. Just talking about the problem and knowing that you care can be helpful and comforting. Your child is likely to feel vulnerable, so it's important that you let him/her know you're on his side and that you love him.
  • Talk to your child about why some people act like bullies. Remember that your child may feel guilty, that he is somehow to blame. Reassure your child that he did not cause the bullying. Explain that kids who bully are usually confused or unhappy.
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