Building Family Strengths: Spirituality (page 4)

Strong families have a sense of spirituality that is defined in different ways. It is a spirit that transcends "self" and is expressed in many forms. It implies a way of acting toward others with whom there is a relationship or connection. A strong spiritual base has been identified as an important strength for families that helps them celebrate and value the gift of life. Spirituality can provide hope, support and sense of purpose to life.

WHAT IS SPIRITUALITY?

Spirituality is believing in a higher power and acting on a value system beyond self-interest. It provides a sense of purpose and support in everyday life and during difficult times. Spirituality is a guiding force that bonds the family together. However, spirituality for America's families has diverse meanings, extended beyond as well as among family members.

Spirituality offers a belief system that teaches how to have healthy relationships within the family unit and with others. This is true even in painful and tough situations. A strong spiritual base . . .

• Provides a sense of love and being loved. It can improve your self-image.
• Provides a way to deal with successes and failures, especially in relationships with family, friends and significant others. It teaches us to seek forgiveness when we have wronged another and learn to forgive when we have been wronged.
• Gives meaning and purpose to our lives. It provides the comfort and feeling that our lives are part of a higher purpose.
• Pushes us to look outside of ourselves for love, support and strength when needed.
• Encourages hope rather than despair when life seems to close in on us.

PROMOTING SPIRITUALITY WITHIN THE FAMILY

Families with a sense of spirituality carry a gratitude and sense of hope that recognizes even the little things of life as special events. A strong spiritual base gives families a sense of belonging and acceptance by a higher being. It gives meaning and purpose to families that provide strength and hope in times of adversity. Spirituality provides a greater sense of purpose and a stronger sense of support from family and friends.

Through their spiritual beliefs, families find ways to deal with successes and also failures, especially in family relationships. They learn to be supportive and to forgive and forget to maintain healthy relationships within the family unit.

Spirituality provides tools and models for building good relationships in the family. It is a key element in establishing strong caring families. Some of the benefits of a strong spiritual base will show up in families whose spirituality . . .

• Offers the basis for good self-esteem. This is necessary for individuals within the family unit to have value and self-worth.
• Offers a belief system that recognizes the importance of families in teaching values and skills for life within communities.
• Offers a belief system that teaches the critical need for support systems that encourages positive family relationships.

This is true no matter how painful these relationships may be in stressful situations or during times of crisis.

PRESCHOOL CHILDREN

Children are born into the world with a clean slate. The ability to grow in a nurturing and caring environment provides the background for healthy spiritual growth. This is guided by the values and beliefs within the family unit.

ELEMENTARY CHILDREN

Young children begin to branch out into environments (such as school) where they will be with other children. The likelihood of exposure to other beliefs begins to become more of an issue. Therefore, it is important that they understand and have a strong foundation of spirituality within their family unit.

MIDDLE/JUNIOR HIGH ADOLESCENTS

The adolescent years can be filled with many changes and transitions that cause pain and confusion. A strong spiritual base can make these life events easier and give adolescents a sense of control over their destiny. It can open up positive ways of dealing with situations that challenge who they are and where they are going in life. Adolescence can be a very sensitive and emotional stage but with a strong sense of spirituality, it can be a time of positive growth.

SENIOR HIGH TEENS

Many young people may experience situations in their life that cause them to question their spirituality. A lot of this may come through relationships with others that cause them hurt and harm. This becomes a challenge for some young people as they struggle to forgive and forget. Often, statements like "I can forgive, but I cannot forget" become very familiar. Forgiveness requires a healing process inside to the point where the pain is no longer present. Then and only then can one forgive, forget and move on.

ADULTS

Adults are the guide and model within the family. Children expect adults to practice what they teach. Therefore, it is important that examples of spirituality and what it stands for within the family are demonstrated. For example, genuine smiles are a sign of love, affirmation and appreciation. A smile can bring hope and change the course of someone's day.