Co-parenting After a Separation or Divorce (continued)

You could also read about this issue in such articles as 10 Holiday Tips for Divorced Parents.

If your child is having a special event, such as a graduation party or religious rite of passage, and you haven't been invited to your ex's, create your own celebration for your child, and include friends and loved ones. Let your child know its OK to have a good time with the other parent. If the occasion calls for the child to give a gift to the parent, help your child find and purchase an appropriate item. Make plans to do something loving for yourself after your child leaves to celebrate with your ex. 

References and resources for co-parenting

Co-Parenting After Divorce – A 4-page booklet that includes a checklist of what to include in a co-parenting plan and descriptions of different types of custody arrangements. (Montana State University).

Co-Parenting After Divorce – A 6-page booklet that details many issues co-parents face such as decision-making, communicating effectively, scheduling, developing a co-parenting plan, and helping the children adjust. (University of New Hampshire)

Ten Commandments of Co-Parenting – Written by a divorced couple who came up with a list of co-parenting basics through their own studies and personal experience.  (Children, Youth and Family Consortium, University of Minnesota)

Now that we’re divorced, how can we parent together? – Covers helping the children to adjust; why divorced parents should try to get along with each other; helping yourself adjust to the divorce; and more. (Auburn University)

Single Parenting: Loss of a Relationship – A 4-page explanation of the mourning process and working through it--an important aspect of being able to co-parent effectively. (University of New Hampshire) 

Children First: Co-Parenting Through Separation and Divorce – Offers summary lists of the basic issues in forming a parenting partnership including conflict management and focusing on the children’s needs. (North Dakota State University)

Parenting After Divorce – Summarizes a book that focuses on how to move beyond a hostile or conflicted relationship so that your children can benefit from ex-spouses parenting cooperatively and accepting that they have different parenting styles. (Phillip M. Stahl, Ph.D.)

Non-Residential Parenting After Divorce – Focuses on guidelines for the parent who does not have custody or who lives a long distance away, and can’t be involved with the children on an everyday basis. (Montana State University)

Helping Children Understand Divorce – Provides guidelines for talking with children with details on how children of different age groups understand and adjust to their parents’ divorce. (University of Missouri)

Children and Divorce – A brief summary of how children react to divorce and how to help them adjust.  This is one in a series called “Facts for Families” with links to related articles. (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry)

What Parents Can Do to Help Children Adjust to Divorce – A one-page summary suggesting that parents decrease conflict; provide a good relationship; provide stability; be loving; and take time to talk. (Ohio State University)

10 Holiday Tips for Divorced Parents – Includes planning ahead; keeping your word; having children keep in touch; safe travel; gift-giving; and more.  (Divorcenet)

Children and Divorce – Has a list of over 30 articles that center around aspects of co-parenting, including how children of different ages adjust to their parents divorcing.  Some of these materials are sources for this article and are referenced separately. (Auburn University, Alabama)