Coaching the Parents

Coach’s Role

Although the primary role of the coach is to develop athletes, coaches must also accept the responsibility for educating the parents of athletes. Parents should learn how best to support their children’s sport participation and the importance of appropriate behavior in the youth sport environment. Before the first practice of the season, coaches should hold a formal meeting with the coaching staff, athletes, and involved parents. There are many topics that could be discussed in this meeting. In addition to the topics listed below, the parents and athletes should be familiar with the Bill of Rights for Young Athletes (see position paper resources). The Bill of Rights for Young Athletes provides an excellent focus for this preseason meeting. One consideration before setting the agenda is to include the parent(s) as well as the athletes in the meeting. This communication
sets the standards for and the expectations of all parties concerning coaching style, team rules, practice goals, etc. The agenda should include:

• coaching philosophy
• coaching style
• general goals for the team
• typical practice session routines
• expectations for the athletes (e.g., athlete rights and responsibilities)
• expectations for the parents (e.g., parent rights and responsibilities)
• explanation of equipment requirements and needs
• discussion of the risks involved in the sport including a discussion of emergency medical procedures and guidelines
• season practice schedule and game schedule
• question and answer period for parents and athletes
• transportation issues
• communication procedures
• safety
• officiating
• sportsmanship

Depending on the sport you are coaching, there may be other topics that should be addressed. These include travel plans and bad weather contingency plans. In your discussion of your coaching style, you might want to include things such as how decisions are made (i.e., leadership style), the role of assistant coaches if you have any, how you teach, whether or not you use physical contact with the athletes when you coach, how parents can help their child with outside practice and conditioning, and/or information sharing with the coach. The key is to cover anything that might come up during the season. Be thorough. This reduces problems later in the year and gives the athletes and parents a feeling of confidence in you by demonstrating that you know what is needed to ensure the best possible experience for the athletes on your team.

Other strategies coaches should consider:

• Parent and child session/practice/scrimmage
• Hosting a preseason social activity such as a barbecue for the team members and their parents.
• Develop or adapt written contracts (e.g., codes of conduct) regarding appropriate behaviors for coaches, athletes, and parents and have these signed at the beginning of the season.

Codes of Conduct for Parents:

1. Let the coaches do the coaching for all team members.
2. Support the program: Volunteer to assist the team outside of coaching.
3. Be your child’s best fan: Positively support your child unconditionally. Acknowledge his or her effort, support of team members, following instruction from coaches, etc.
4. Support and root for all team members: Foster teamwork.
5. Do not bribe or offer incentives. Orient them to the enjoyment of participating and responsibility to the team.
6. Encourage your child to talk with the coaches: If your child is having difficulties in practice or games or can’t make a practice, encourage him or her to speak directly to the coaches.
7. Understand and display appropriate game behavior (e.g., watch; make positive remarks; do not berate pla yers, officials, or coaches): Remember, your child’s self-esteem and game performance is at stake. Be supportive.
8. Monitor your child’s stress level at home: Keep an eye on the player to make sure you are helping your child effectively handle the stress from the various activities in life.
9. Monitor eating and sleeping habits: Be sure your child is eating the proper foods and getting adequate rest.
10. Help your child keep his or her priorities straight: Help your child maintain a balance among schoolwork, family responsibilities, chores, and free time.
11. Keep sport in its proper perspective: Sport should be fun for you and your child. Highly skilled children and their parents must be especially careful to maintain a balanced view.
12. If your child’s performance produces strong emotions in you, maintain a calm demeanor. Your relationship with your child remains long after competitive sport days are over. Keep your goals and needs separate from your child’s experience.
13. Reality test: If your child has come off the field when their team has lost, but has played their best, help them to see this as a “win.” Remind your child to focus on “process” and not only “results.” Fun and satisfaction should be derived from “striving to win” and playing well and hard.
14. Have fun.

Resources

Books:

American Sport Education Program. (1994). Sportparent. Champaign, IL: Human Kinetics.

Stankovich, C. E., & Kays, T. M. (2002). Parent’s playbook. Columbus, OH: Champion Athletic Consulting.

Women’s Sports Foundation. (1999). Sports in the lives of urban girls: A resource manual for girls’ sports in urban centers. East Meadow, NY: Author.

Position Papers:

NASPE Coaches Code of Conduct
http://www.aahperd.org/naspe/pdf_files/pos_papers/coaches.pdf

NASPE Bill of Rights for Young Athletes
http://www.aahperd.org/naspe/pdf_files/billofrightsforyoungathletes.pdf

Web Site Resources:

Coaching Youth Sports
http://courseware.vt.edu/users/rstratto/CYS

Moms Team.com: The Place for Moms with Children in Youth Sports
http://www.momsteam.com

Do’s and Don’ts for Sport Parents by Amy Wheeler (USA Gymnastics Online: Athlete Wellness)
http://www.usa-gymnastics.org

Positive Coaching Alliance
http://www.positivecoach.org/

Character Counts: From the Josephson Institute of Ethics
http://www.charactercounts.org

Y-Coaching Youth Coaching Information
http://www.y-coach.com/

Children in Sport - A Poem for Parents
http://www-rohan.sdsu.edu/dept/coachsci/vol61/fitzsim1.htm

Getting the Most Out of Sports for Kids: Tips for Parents and Coaches
http://ed-web3.educ.msu.edu/ysi/SpotlightSum96/most.html

What Every Parents Should Remember About Sport
http://www-rohan.sdsu.edu/dept/coachsci/vol61/fitzsim2.htm

Just Having Catch with Your Kids is Often All It Takes to Make Them Happy. Kids Told Us That, and a Lot More
http://www.sikids.com/sportsparents2/kidssay/qualitytime.html

When Push Comes to Shove Encouraging Your Child is Fine, But Don't Overdo It
http://www.sikids.com/sportsparents2/psychology/encourage.html

Parents: You Are Part of the Team Too!
http://courseware.vt.edu/users/rstratto/CYSarchive/ParentsMay99.html

Nightmare Parents
http://www.sikids.com/sportsparents/psychology/nightmare.html

Ten Things Parents Don't Get About Kids and Sports
http://www.sikids.com/sportsparents2/kidssay/topten.html

Top Ten List of the Most Embarrassing Things Not to Do at One of Your Child’s Games!
http://www.sikids.com/sportsparents2/kidssay/embarrassing.html

Here Are 10 Rules to Remember When You’re on the Sidelines at Your Kid’s Game
http://www.sikids.com/sportsparents/psychology/rules.html

Parents’ Code of Ethics
http://www.decatursports.com/articles/NYSCA.htm

Parents & Sportsmanship
http://www.tutornuway.com/topics/feb98-09.html

Attitude in Youth Sports: Parents Set the Tone (Hey Mom & Dad, Your Attitude is Showing)
http://www.tutornuway.com/topics/121198-4.html

Ten Commandments of Parental Behavior
http://www.ct-starters.org/tencommd.htm

To learn more about the National Association for Sport and Physical Education, click http://www.aahperd.org/NASPE/