Five Essential Skills for Becoming Your Child's Advocate (page 2)

Learning the essential skills to become your child's advocate and ensure your child receives an appropriate education does not require lots of money or even years of schooling. All it requires is learning five basic skills and consistently implementing them within the school community.

Skill 1: Become informed about your child's learning disability.

Understand your child's strengths and weaknesses, as well as the strategies that enable your child to compensate for weaknesses or deal with challenging activities.

Example: My child has a great deal of difficulty organizing his materials. We have found that color-coding all of his school materials, as well as keeping everything in a single zippered binder, allows him to keep track of his work. When he is rushing between classes, he can simply throw papers into his binder and zip it up. We can help organize the papers at home, keeping papers from getting lost in the bottom of the backpack or -- worse still -- in the black hole!

Skill 2: Learn about your child's educational rights.

Three federal statutes guarantee your child's access to a Free and Appropriate Public Education (FAPE) as well as accommodations as a person with a disability. The three federal laws are:

• Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA 2004)
• Section 504 of the 1973 Rehabilitation Act
   
• Title II of the American Disabilities Act

By becoming knowledgeable about your parental rights, as well as those of your child, you become an informed consumer. Remember: knowledge is power! Parents who understand how schools are run, what schools are required to provide, and how services should be provided find much less resistance in securing appropriate services for their child.

Example: My son has a writing disability. The very act of handwriting is laborious for him. In lecture classes, he often missed 75 percent of the information presented because he was focused on trying to copy down what was on the board. Through his educational plan, we requested that he receive copies of classroom notes, be able to tape record his lectures, and have access to a word processor. This has increased his ability to participate in classroom discussions and to focus on the information presented because he is no longer worrying about copying information off the board.

However, had I not known I could make requests for accommodations through the school child study team or IEP team, he would have continued to struggle and fail in his classes. With these three simple accommodations, he is able to excel in his academic classes and compete with his peers who are not learning disabled.

Skill 5: Learn to be in charge of your emotions.

As Kenny Rogers says, "Know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em." As parents, we need to learn to step back and bring in others to help us when we are having difficulty with our child’s school. Oftentimes, our natural reaction is to push harder and scream louder, thinking that the school will then do what we want. Unfortunately, more often than not, what occurs then is a "battle of wills," with both parties expending emotional energy to be right. They may lose focus on the real issue -- a child’s success in life and school. It is vital, as a parent advocate, that you learn how to step back, reflect, rally your troops, and encourage others to think outside the box, be creative, and find common ground. Compromise does not mean one is "giving in" or losing. It means meeting one another half-way. 

Example: My son is gifted in the area of science, and his educational team recommended that he take Advanced Placement Biology in tenth grade. When the teachers made this recommendation, my first response was to stand up and scream, "Are you kidding me? No way! It will be too hard for him, require too much time, and our entire existence will be homework." Instead, I took a deep breath, paused, and said, "WOW! That is a really wonderful opportunity, but I am concerned about how much writing and reading will be required with an AP course."

Together, we were able to discuss his learning needs and develop some strategies and supports that I am happy to say have allowed him to participate in an AP Biology class. It has done wonders for his self-esteem! If I had allowed my fears of his failing to control the meeting, I would have missed out on watching his excitement, this year, learning about proteins and biogenetics!

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