Getting Started in Homeschooling

Making the Most of Decompression Time

One fairly universal dynamic is the need for a decompression period after leaving school. The intensity of the need for decompression time is usually in direct proportion to the time that was spent in school and to whether or not (or to what degree) it was a difficult experience. Time allowed for the mysterious but necessary process of finding one's own rhythm is as legitimate and useful as formal academic study might be at this point. A child who suddenly has the opportunity to think for himself, learn in his own way, and work out his own schedule might appear as if he is not "doing" much, but this phase gradually evolves into more active interests and activities. The pot will generally come to a boil faster when it isn't watched with restless anticipation.

This can be a special and delicate time for your family—a time for getting to know and trust in one another in a new way—and it's a time to relish. This is a great time to relax and read to the family, take walks and field trips, bake and do crafts, and leisurely pursue special interests—all those wonderful things there was no time for earlier. You will find rich opportunities for learning everywhere! A wonderful aspect of homeschooling is the opportunity to actively pursue your own interests in a personalized way; time tends to reveal more and more possibilities for learning many unexpected things through those interests.

"People often think that their first job as a new homeschooling parent is to figure out which curriculum to use. I say their first job is to learn about learning and about their own kids' learning styles. Only then, when they've done their own homework and their kids have had a chance to shed their conditioning from school (and it is not at all uncommon for this period of time to involve a whole lot of video game playing or tv watching, by the way) the parents and kids can, together, determine the course of their homeschooling journey with more likelihood of all of them being happy with it."- Pam Sorooshian

The Parent as Teacher

"But can I be my child's teacher? Will that work?" Many children do not readily accept the notion of the parent becoming a "teacher," but this does not mean there needs to be a conflict. Fortunately, being a teacher is not necessary to support their learning. If you trust your children, provide rich materials and opportunities, and promote mutual respect, you can be a trusted facilitator, and the child can be a competent and motivated learner. It might not be exactly what you expected homeschooling to be, but it will probably amaze and delight you! Many of us find that one of the greatest joys of homeschooling comes in learning right alongside our children—learning together. The enthusiasm for learning that we model can be much more important and fruitful in the long run than just the promotion of the standard mastering of facts that we often think of as "education."

Life offers many things that are fun to learn, interesting to learn, good or necessary to learn, but formal lessons are not the only way to accomplish this. Parents often worry about how they can teach something they do not know about or do not remember, but parents tend to underestimate the ability of kids to learn on their own with good resources or, better yet, alongside their parents. You will probably want to have some specialized books for a few subjects, but learning can be approached the same way as helping a child to get a kite off the ground—you can quite successfully be a helpful and supportive partner in learning, rather than a teacher.

Finding Support

Support is important. You will want friends and activities for your child, and you'll need occasional support for yourself. You can get referrals to local homeschooling support groups from HSC County Contacts in your area. Call the toll free number at (888) HSC-4440, or visit the County Contacts page. The County Contacts are friendly homeschooling parents who have volunteered to talk with you about your homeschooling questions and tell you about local support groups and activities.

Don't be discouraged if you don't find a group that fits your needs right away; there really are a variety of homeschoolers out there. If you have no luck finding a local group through HSC's County Contacts, you can connect with hundreds of homeschoolers from all over the state by joining HSC's online community at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CA-Homeschooling-HSC/.

Also, explore the territory where homeschoolers go during the hours when other kids are in school: playgrounds, museums, libraries, educational supply stores, bookstores, parks, amusement attractions, etc. Look around at kids' classes, and ask at places like skating rinks if there are homeschooling groups that have regular get-togethers there. Keep your eyes open for others who might look like they are homeschooling, and go ahead and approach them—they usually love to meet new people. Ask librarians (especially children's librarians) about homeschoolers, and leave your name and number, or a card, with them. Scan bulletin boards at places you think homeschoolers are likely to frequent—and don't forget natural food stores, because homeschooling is one of those "natural" things. If you don't find a notice, put one up yourself, and say you're looking for other homeschoolers.

The local La Leche League will undoubtedly have members who homeschool, since it is a natural outgrowth from another natural practice—nursing babies. Check the free parent/family newspapers. There are often ads or event notices put in by homeschooling groups. If you don't find one, call the newspaper to ask if they know of any. Also try calling the regular town newspapers. The paper might even have an education editor who keeps track of groups or individuals.

Last but not least, consider starting a group yourself. Leave notices about your group in all the places you looked for one. You might even invest a few dollars in a well-placed ad. There are probably lots of people out there looking for you!

There are also opportunities to connect at the big family campouts and events HSC organizes throughout the year, and at the even larger state conference each summer in Sacramento. Getting to know homeschoolers from all over the state is great fun for the whole family. When you join HSC, you can keep abreast of the activities through the California HomeSchooler.

Socialization

Asking a typical homeschooling parent if s/he worries that his/her children will not be well socialized will usually bring a smile, or maybe even a hearty laugh—we call it "the S question." Socialization is not the problem that people often assume it to be. Homeschooled children have the advantage of being surrounded by people of all ages and have lots of opportunities to meet other children through homeschooling support groups, sports, scouts, 4-H, community classes, churches, the neighborhood, and many other means. Those that have been to school can also maintain friendships with old school buddies.

Homeschoolers have the opportunity to learn to relate to people of all ages in a more natural way than if they were clustered exclusively with peers all day. Many of us actually think of our children as liberated from the commonly accepted myth of "socialization," in that they have a better chance to become strong and confident individuals, free from the constraints of constant peer pressure.

Parents who have more time with their children during the formative years appreciate the positive effect it can have on the whole family. The benefit of a more natural way of social growth is actually one of the elements of homeschooling that many hold most dear. If you're willing to get out and be active, there's no reason to be isolated. It can actually be more challenging to decide when to stop and take time for some refreshing solitude.

Considering Resources

You will hear about various styles and methods of homeschooling--eclectic, unschooling, structured, classical, Waldorf, Charlotte Mason, Montessori, and others--but there is no need to choose and commit to any one path when you begin. In fact, many experienced and successful homeschoolers would be hard-pressed to label their style or methodology. Many homeschooling websites (such as A to Z Home's Cool Homeschooling at http://www.gomilpitas.com/homeschooling/methods/Methods.htm) as well as good introductory books, will explain the wide range of various options, but you won't know what will work best for your family until you've had a chance to spend relaxed time learning, listening, observing, and exploring with your family in your own homeschool setting.

There are usually considerably more educational resources around than one might notice, and many are already in your home. Consider card games that involve math or reading, books of all kinds, tools, crafts, educational TV shows, videos, conversation, seeds and soil, things that can be counted and organized to figure out math concepts. You use "learning materials" when you cook, measure, build, sew, garden, make lists, or run errands around town and visit interesting places. At the grocery store, you weigh and calculate the price of apples, or compare prices of different sized containers—you could pay a lot of money for a commercial resource that offered the same benefits. Remember that schools are trying to teach dozens of children all at once, so specialized materials are more necessary and appropriate in that setting.

There are some companies that have put together their own packaged concepts of a curriculum. Some homeschoolers get started with those packages and quickly move on to other things, while some use them longer and enjoy them; many never use them at all. You might want to take time to explore some other options before making a commitment or investment. Time will help you come to your own wise conclusions about whether you want to use something that is all laid out, or whether you want to pick and choose resources with your child as you go along.

See HSC's page on Prepared Courses and Curricula Guidance.