Gratitude is an Attitude

Grateful people not only feel good, but they act good, so to speak; their joy and enthusiasm is palpable to others. Studies show that people who have been taught to practice being appreciative offer more emotional support to other people. Grateful people are more likely to be both kind and helpful. And the spouses and friends of gratitude practicers report increases in energy, excitement, and attentiveness.

We need to teach our children to be grateful because American culture glorifies independence and undervalues how much others help. We see our blessings as hard-earned. One gratitude researcher, in a recent article for Greater Good magazine, describes a scene from The Simpsons: “When asked to say grace at the family dinner table, Bart Simpson offers the following words: ‘Dear God, we paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing.’” This sense of entitlement will not lead to happy lives. Pioneering social scientists think that 40% of our happiness comes from intentional, chosen activities throughout the day. Choose to be entitled, choose to be grateful—whatever you decide, it is going to influence your happiness.

So why don’t more people choose thankfulness over cynicism and entitlement? I think we lack ways to talk about gratitude. My kids have picked up rich notions of what romantic love is from watching Disney princess movies, but probably couldn’t say a word about how Cinderella feels thankful for all her fairy godmother has given her or how she expressed that gratitude. We don’t talk muchabout good things that come from other people’s efforts, about the ways that our neighbors and coworkers and grandparents contribute directly to our own well-being.

The good news is that thankfulness is not a fixed trait. It’s is a skill that can be cultivated, like kicking a soccer ball or speaking French. Gratitude is one of the ways that we teach our offspring to forge critical social bonds. So as a society it is in our best interest to teach habits of thankfulness and appreciation.

Check out this gratitude tool: www.thanks-o-meter.com!

Link to original article: http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/half_full/?p=58

Christine Carter, Ph.D., is a mother of two and the executive director of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. Find more tips for raising happy kids at greatergoodparents.org.

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