Growth and Development, Ages 4-5

Cognitive Development

Most children aged four to five will:

• Interact with and learn about the world through play activities
• Begin to experience the world through exploration and feel inquisitive about self and surroundings
• Begin separation from family as they experience less proximity to caregivers and more independence
• Understand what is good and bad (though they may not understand why) and be able to follow the rules
• Be able to understand and accomplish simple activities to be healthy, such as brushing teeth or washing hands
• Understand the concept of privacy

Emotional Development

Most children aged four to five will:

• Still rely on caregivers, while no longer needing or wanting as much physical contact with caregivers as they received in infancy and as toddlers
• Continue to express emotions physically and to seek hugs and kisses
• Socialize with peers, begin to develop relationships, and learn to recognize some peers as friends and others as people they don't like
• Have more opportunities to interact with peers, either through school or recreational activities, and will play with other children

Sexual Development

Most children aged four to five will:

• Experience vaginal lubrication or erection
• Touch their genitals for pleasure
• Feel curiosity about everything, and ask about where babies come from and how they were born
• Feel curiosity about bodies and may play games like doctor
• Feel sure of their own gender and have the ability to recognize males and females
• Begin to recognize traditional male and female gender roles and to distinguish these roles by gender
• Become conscious of their own body, how it appears to others, and how it functions

What Families Need to Do to Raise Sexually Healthy Children

To help four- to five-year-old children develop a healthy sexuality, families should:

• Help children understand the concept of privacy and that talk about sexuality is private and occurs at home.
• Teach correct names of the major body parts (internal and external) and their basic functions.
• Explain how babies "get into" the mother's uterus.
• Encourage children to come to them or other trusted adults for information about sexuality.