Guiding Children's Behavior

Give your children choices.

This is an easy way to develop decision-making skills and nurture a child's self-discipline. Only give choices you are willing to permit, for example "Would you like apple slices or raisins for your snack today?" or "Would you like to take your bath before or after we read a story tonight?"

Use more do's than don'ts.

You might think in terms of giving a child a 'green light' instead of 'red lights'. Say "come hold my hand" instead of "Don't touch anything."

Set only necessary limits.

What is important? What limits are necessary for the child to be safe?

Set reasonable limits.

Is the child capable? Many times, our exceptions are too high and need to be 'shifted' to fit the child's abilities.

Make your limits simple and clear.

Everyone can benefit from specific directions about rules and limits. Provide information that is adequate as well as understandable to both the child and other family members.

Be consistent with your limits.

The rule should be the same from day-to-day. Rules should change as the child grows and becomes more self-disciplined.

Praise and encourage children.

This promotes learning, independence, and positive self-esteem.

Set a good example.

Children learn more by role modeling adults than in any other way.

When children ask "why," explain things in simple terms.

Use natural or logical consequences

This gives children an opportunity to learn from the choices they make. When children damage something, they need to help fix or clean up their mistakes.

Redirect children by teaching them a different way of doing the same thing.

"You can build a fort in the living room, but not on the kitchen table."