Keeping Kids Sexually Safe (continued)

Are Young People Flirting or Hurting?

We often think of sexual harassment as something that happens among adults in the workplace, but it can also happen to young people in school or other settings. There is a difference between mutual flirting and teasing that is meant to intentionally harm, intimidate, humiliate, and scare the target. Sexual harassment is also often one-sided and can include:

• Sexual advances
• Touching of a sexual nature
• Graffiti of a sexual nature (like comments written on the bathroom wall)
• Displaying or distributing sexually explicit drawings, pictures, and written materials
• Sexual gestures
• Sexual jokes or rumors
• Pressure for sexual favors
• Touching oneself sexually or talking about one's sexual activity in front of others

Sexual harassment is against the law, and your child's school is required to have a policy in place to help keep students safe. If your child is being harassed, he/she can report the violation to the school social worker or counselor, school security or resource officer, or principal, who can advocate for his/her safety. If the school isn't doing anything to stop the harassment, contact the Department of Education's Safe and Drug-free office at 202/260-3954 to find out the name of the coordinator to contact in your state.

For more information, download the publication Sexual Harassment: It's Not Academic, available on the U.S. Department of Education website at www.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/ docs/ocrshpam.html

Activities for Parents and Caregivers to Communicate with Young People

For pre-teens and teens, you can find teachable moments to talk about sexual abuse, assault, or harassment by reading an article in a newspaper or magazine; watching the news on television; or responding to a situation that either you or your children have heard about or witnessed. Sexual harassment is often not clear cut and may be challenging to identify. The following scenarios can help families talk about this important issue. For each scenario below, decide whether or not the situation can be considered sexual harassment, and have a discussion about why or why not. If you decide the situation could be considered sexual harassment, discuss what the "target" should do about it.

1. In gym class, Mark's classmates snuck up behind him and pulled his shorts down to his knees. While his classmates thought it would be funny, Mark was embarrassed.
2. There are a group of girls at school that stand in the hallway between classes and make fun of people's appearance. When Karen walks by, they tease her for having a flat chest and for wearing clothes that are out of style. Karen doesn't take it personally and ignores them.
   
3. Before soccer practice, a few teammates were looking at a pornographic magazine in the locker room. They called Jamie over to look, but he told them he didn't want to look at it. His teammates made fun of him by calling him names. Jamie was upset.
   
4. Stephanie has a crush on Jeremy. When she saw him in the cafeteria she walked up behind him, covered his eyes and asked him to guess who he thought it was. Jeremy wasn't sure, so Stephanie took her hands off his eyes. Jeremy was glad that it was Stephanie and gave her a hug. Stephanie was glad that Jeremy hugged her.
5. John really likes Katie. Whenever he says hello to her, she always replies back with a smile and says hi to him. One day John decided to ask her out on a date and Katie politely told him that she's not interested. Every day for the next week John tries to convince Katie that she should go out with him. Katie wants John to leave her alone.

It is important to realize that often whether a situation is determined to be sexual harassment, depends on how the target feels as a result of the incident(s). Other factors to consider include: what is said, how it is said, and the body language of all people involved. With this in mind, review your responses and then compare them with the possible answers below.