The Many Meanings of Family and the Role of Fathers

Introduction

The idea that there's one definition of family is changing. Families are becoming more diverse. There are single career as well as dual career families, two parent as well as single parent families, "intact" as well as blended families, married as well as unmarried cohabiting parents, heterosexual as well as same sex parents, single race as well as interracial families, two- as well as three-generational families.

What's the ideal family for raising well-adjusted kids?

Social scientists have different answers to this question. This issue is one of the most controversial and politicized topics in psychology, family studies and mental health today. We'll present contrasting views about a basic question: Is the so-called "traditional" nuclear family and in particular, the presence of a biological father absolutely essential for the well-being of children?

YES , state a number of writers, quoting research to support their position (Blankenhorn, l995, Popenoe, 1996). They believe that the following functions are best performed by biological fathers married to biological mothers who live together:

Fathers provide role models for their sons to learn how to be a man; girls need fathers to learn how to relate to a man.

Fathers are better able than mothers to constrain and correct boys headed towards violence and other antisocial behaviors.

Fathers teach sons and daughters better lessons than mothers regarding assertiveness and achievement, and provide better formative experiences for daughters in terms of developing the capacity for heterosexual intimacy, trust and even femininity.

Fathers play differently with young children - they are more physical; they challenge and foster independence more than mothers, and young children prefer fathers' form of play.

In summary, proponents of the essential-father point of view see the parenting contributions of mothers and fathers as linked to their sex, with mothers generally emphasizing connection, relatedness, safety and care, and fathers emphasizing autonomy, action, risk-taking and following rules.

Is the presence of a biological father absolutely essential to the well-being of children?

NO, say the critics of the essential-father point of view, who believe that fathers are certainly important, but not necessarily essential. In fact, they believe that diverse forms of family can provide healthy environments for children (Silverstein & Auerbach, l999; Stacey, 1996). According to this point of view, it's not who's part of the family but what the family provides to the children in their care. These proponents of what we'll call the "diverse family" perspective make the following points:

They believe that the impact of gender differences on parenting is not supported by research. A meta-analysis of 171 studies comparing mothers' and fathers' parenting found few significant differences (Lytton & Romney, l991). The research cited by the essential -father proponents can be interpreted in a number of ways, and some of the differences observed may be due to causes other than the lack of the presence of a biological father. An example: a finding that children achieve more in school when their fathers are more involved in general or when they directly participate more in educational activities such as homework could be due to fathers' positive influence; or to fathers getting more involved when children show talent and ability in the first place; or to having two parents rather than one parent in the home - and therefore less stress on the parents and more parenting to go around for children; or to greater financial security which results in greater access to educational (and other) resources. Similarly, the point that many young children may prefer playing with their fathers rather than their mothers may be due to different play styles or to children seeing their fathers less, so fathers are a more novel stimulus.