Responsible Parenting Guidelines (page 2)

Counseling

Many times parents are court ordered to session with a counselor or therapist who will assist them in reaching some agreement. These parents can become so overwhelmed with the legal issues of separation and the material fighting of objects that they forget the basics of parenting.

In that case, the counselor’s task is to work with the parents on redeveloping the skills 101 needed to assist them in accomplishing the parental role effectively.

Some of the key issues are:

• Both parents accept they have shared parental responsibility and will behave in the children’s best interest. 
• They should be able to recognize that their children have a right to maintain a positive and loving relationship with the other parent and each has the obligation of promoting that relationship, despite any difficulties which may exist. 
• They also have an obligation to foster a meaningful relationship between the other parent 
• They should not speak negatively or use derogatory remarks in the presence of the children or allow other the same 
• They are responsible for their time commitment to their children and the other parent should not intervene 
• They will behave appropriately on the telephone with out harassing the other parent or the children. 
• Children should have access to private telephone conversation with their prospective parent. 
• Parents should not question children regarding other parent’s personal life. 
• Parents should communicate directly with each other and not use children as a messenger regarding money issues 
• Parents should not exhibit negative attitudes or feeling concerning the other parents while a transfer is taking place from one parent to the next for home visit or vacation etc.. 
• Parents will not deliberately schedule activities which conflict with the time spend with the other parent. 
• Medical and educational decisions should be shared by both parents.

Many of the above recommendation are forgotten or totally disregarded even by couples who live together. But many times these are harder to comply with when there is a separation, divorce or termination of a marriage.