Straight Talk: Helping Bright Teens Through Tough Times (continued)

Normalize asking for guidance and help from a mental health professional. (Nadia Webb)

Listen to your child. Often preventing suicide means creating a climate in which kids know that they don't have to manage it all on their own and they can talk about difficult issues. Open up communication before there is a problem; if the channel is already established, there is a less of a barrier. (Nadia Webb)

Exercise! It's a great antidepressant and holds its own with many of the medications available. Keep an eye out to make sure that it isn't part of a self-critical and harsh response to weight/shape issues. (Nadia Webb)

Recognize that there is a difference between "wanting to die" and "not wanting to live anymore." It sounds odd, but the majority of teens fit the latter category. Because teen years are so present tense oriented, they believe that today's reality will be reality forever. While telling your teen that "things will get better in time" is not effective, pointing out this fine-line distinction can be revealing for a child in pain. (Jim Delisle)

Ask your child direct questions. If you are concerned that your child is considering suicide, this is one case where overreacting is acceptable. Say to them, "Some people who feel this bad about life think about harming themselves through suicide. Has this thought ever crossed your mind?" (Jim Delisle)

Help your child identify trusted adults they can turn to. Develop a list of names and phone numbers of these adults. (Jim Delisle)

It is vital to talk about a suicide or sudden, accidental deaths, as it keeps you in tune as best you can be with what is going on in your child's mind and life. In a very odd way, one suicide often gives "permission" for another to attempt the act. What I have found is that it is not the mere mention of suicide that prompts its occurrence, but the manner in which it is raised. As emotional a topic as this is, it is better to deal with it "clinically", in a matter-of-fact manner that says, "This is a wrong behavior." (Jim Delisle)

What to watch out for:

Gifted children often feel like they "should" be able to have an impact on tragedies. When they can't, they often are shocked, even depressed, and feel powerless. (Jim Webb)

Unfortunately, many highly gifted kids have very few (if any) peers that they can talk to. It can be lonely. But then, many parents can recall how they feel lonely and misunderstood at work or in the neighborhood, or even in the family. It's important for parents to discuss out loud (where the kids can hear) how you, yourselves, struggle with issues of peer relations. (Jim Webb)

It's important for our youngsters to see that they are more than just their talents. Some of these children become achievement addicts, and - as the Presidential Scholars research has shown - can experience some withdrawal (and accompanying sense of grief and loss) when they get into college or into the job force and no longer are receiving the kudos that they previously received so frequently. (Jim Webb)

Remember that gifted kids are incredibly intense. Adolescents are also pretty well known for overreactions and for not having a long-term view of situations, goals, or life in general. When you add these together, it can be a bad combination, particularly if the child feels alone and believes that he or she would not be understood by others if he or she opened up. (Jim Webb)

"People pleasers" are at risk for perfectionism and depression and are not likely to share their depression because it might appear to be a "weakness" or an "imperfection." In particular, this is a problem if you have child who feels valued for what he or she does, rather than just for being a human. (Jim Webb)

There are some factors that put GT kids at greater risk for depression and suicide, such as a sense of isolation and the ability to grasp ideas intellectually that they aren't emotionally mature enough to handle. They may feel overwhelmed by the amount of damage in the world and their powerlessness in tackling the world's problems. Gifted children often process their existential crisis in elementary school instead of college, which can feel even more isolating. Once again, they don't have age peers wrestling with the same issues. (Nadia Webb)