Strategies for Keeping Teens Safe

Monitoring Teens

• Know where our teens are - especially on evening and weekends.
• Let teens know that using alcohol, cigarettes or drugs is illegal and unacceptable, and that it would upset you - very much.
• Monitor television programs teens watch.
• Set rules about the music teens listen to.
• Know how teens are doing in school. Don't blow off parent-teacher meetings.
• Monitor Internet use. This is a big one. Keep computers in "public" rooms of the house.
• Try to eat together on a regular basis (without the TV, please).
• Curfews are good. Enforce them. And know the curfew laws in your community.
• Check in when teens come home from school.
• Have family routines.
• Insist your teen gives you the name and phone number when visiting friends.
• Contact your cable company - have parental control installed to remove unacceptable programs such as MTV.
• Insist your teen provide you with his/her password. If they refuse do not give them computer access.
• Insist your teen never give out their real name, phone number, email address, home address on-line.
• Purchase parental control software which will allow to restrict websites & topical areas.
• Purchase software which will allow you to view your teen's history, email, etc.
• For more information on parental control software visit the www.missingkids.org.
• Do not allow teens to have television sets, VHS, DVD players in their bedrooms.
• Greet your teen whenever they come home in the evening, stay up until they arrive home. Check out how their night went. Check for any substance use.
• Monitor cell phone records.

Respect Our Teens By:

• Explaining why we need to know about their activities.
• Acknowledging their need for independence.
• Recognizing as teens mature, our expectations should change accordingly.
• Nurturing their self-sufficiency. Build trust by giving more freedom gradually.
• First and foremost, express your love to your teen and that it is your job as a parent to ensure their well-being.
• Negotiate expanding rules as your teen matures.
• Act as your teen's pre-frontal cortex, the place in the brain that helps us make good decisions. The pre-frontal cortex doesn't fully mature until young people reach twenty-five. Help your teen think through their plans for the night. Sometimes teens simply don't have the experience to make good decisions. Role play potential problems. "What would you do if...?"
• Be a parent not a pal.

When All Else Fails...

Sometimes the best plans don't work and teens find themselves in over their heads. Have a family code and suggest your teen can call to ask, "Did my clothes get ironed for tomorrow?" Go get them, no questions asked.