Teaching Kids a Sense of Responsibility (continued)

Take the opportunity to call a family meeting and talk broadly about the importance of responsibility in the world. Ask family members questions about what they think their responsibilities are for themselves and the family. Make sure you start this process early, even with preschoolers or kindergarteners. It’s never too early to instill a sense of responsibility.

Talk about times when you were impressed by the way a child or teenager took responsibility for something. Discuss your feelings about a time when someone showed irresponsible behavior and why you think the action, not the person, set a bad example.

Much of the time, teaching household responsibility is not about telling a child what she should do. It’s about asking her what she would be willing to do and telling her why that willingness is vital to her well-being and the smooth running of the household.

Feed the Cat, Fold the Clothes... The Daily Grind

Think of all of the tasks it takes to run the house—monthly, weekly, daily, even hourly—and write them down. For the more complex tasks—for instance, laundry—break them down into subtasks (putting clothes in the basket, washing and drying clothes, folding clothes, etc.). Then, have each member talk about which task he might be able to complete successfully and why.

Some families may employ a cleaning service. Regardless of the service’s  responsibilities, basic household chores need to be done and can be easily assigned between professional cleanings—such as wiping down the kitchen counters after meals, emptying trashcans, and shaking out area rugs.

Choosing chores is an easy and fun activity to do as a family. You might draw straws—the longest straw drawn gives the holder the right to pick first from a list of chores. You may also want to play a game and allow the winner to choose the first chore.

Post the chores in a central location and include a checklist so that family members can cross off each task as they complete it. Children like visuals, and the act of crossing off a task will solidify their accomplishment. Rotate the household duties in a logical order and even allow trading of chores between members. But make sure that one person isn’t paying another to do her chores.

As children grow, they can take on larger tasks that used to be difficult for them (e.g., putting dishes away in cabinets when they grow tall enough). As they move into the teenage years, young people can take on even greater responsibilities, which help them develop independence and an ever-increasing sense of self-reliance and competence.³

To Reward or Not To Reward

When discussing the family operations, talk about the vital role of each member to the whole and how important it is to work together in certain ways. Come up with examples of what could happen when something doesn’t get done.