Teaching Kids a Sense of Responsibility (continued)

Afterwards, talk with your family about the types of rewards and consequences that will be a part of the process. If a person completes a task, does he get a monetary reward such as an allowance? If he doesn’t complete a task, does he lose TV and computer time? End by suggesting short, once-a-week family meetings to talk about progress and challenges that arise. Remember to be fair: If a parent fails or succeeds in his responsibilities, he should take a consequence or reap a reward.

Avoid Blame, Try Creativity

Remember to avoid blaming and labeling when your child doesn’t complete her tasks. Have clear consequences and carry them out.

Try creative ways to remind your child of his responsibilities. Rather than telling your child that he’s lazy for not picking up clothing strewn across his bedroom floor, ask whether it is being left for the “invisible maid.” Offer daily praise and encouragement.

Just telling your child what you see and feel can make a huge difference: “I see that you put away the crayons after you finished coloring. It makes the dining room table so clean when they are put away.”

Remember that children model the behavior of their parents. So don’t expect a child to take on a responsibility when you forget yours. Set a good example to instill a sense of responsibility in young children. Doing so will help teach them the many skills they need to deal with the ups and downs of life: self-reliance, cooperation, giving and receiving, and living with others.

Sources

Additional Resources

University of Michigan Extension Service, 2005. Teens and Family Responsibilities, last referenced 1/24/2008.

Center for Effective Parenting. Children and Chores, last referenced 1/24/2008.

Josephson Institute of Ethics, 2007. Parenting to Build Character, last referenced 1/24/2008.

Medline Plus. Parenting, last referenced 1/24/2008.