There's No Place Like Home for Sex Education: 5 Years (continued)

Johnny's dad believes that "playing doctor" is a normal childhood experience—between same and other gender children. At this age, they're fascinated by bodies—how they look, feel, work … and are especially interested in "how yours compares to mine."

He realizes that often parents forget that a child's sexual behavior does not have the same emotional significance that it does for adults.

He also appreciates that families have different values and beliefs surrounding sex.

His concern right now is to restore Johnny's positive feelings about himself, his body and his sexuality.

• Dad: Why do you suppose Scott's dad was so angry?
• Johnny: He thought we were being nasty.
• D: Do you think you were?
• J: No.
• D: Neither do I. You and Scott were interested in finding out about bodies. That's pretty normal.
• J: Scott's dad thinks it's bad.
• D: Well, he may believe it's not ok for kids to play without their clothes on. Some families feel that way. So when you're playing with Scott, be sure to respect that, and keep your clothes on. It's ok to be curious about bodies. In fact, I have a book that shows all kinds of bodies, and how they work. Let's read it!

Johnny has heard some valuable messages: his dad re-enforced his willingness to discuss sexual issues with him and emphasized a positive attitude toward sexuality. He acknowledged that family beliefs differ, and it's important to respect that.

Good work, dad!

Just When You Thought You Had It Handled …

We live in frightening times. The alarming incidence of HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) has sparked serious concern—and at times irrational fear.

Many schools offer HIV/AIDS education, grades K-12. Increasingly, ads, news stories and public service announcements, talk of safer sex practices, condoms, gay, lesbian and heterosexual issues.

As parents of a kindergarten child, you're totally baffled. Just what and how do you discuss HIV/AIDS with a 5-year-old?

Your child doesn't need confusing details about the complexities of sexual relationships, sexual transmission of infection, etc. S/he does however, need you to address this scary topic that everyone's talking about.

It's an ideal time to discuss general concepts of wellness and staying healthy. Help your child appreciate that much of his health is under his control. Habits such as hand washing, dressing appropriately, eating nutritious foods, exercising, and getting plenty of rest promote good health. Discuss basic facts about disease. For example, explain that some diseases like colds, flu, and chicken pox are caused by germs, which spread from person to person. If those germs get into his body, he may become ill. Ask if he has heard of AIDS (he'll likely say yes). Let him know that AIDS is a disease caused by a germ called a virus.

This may suffice for now, but expand if he shows interest or anxiety. Find out what he's heard about HIV/AIDS, and correct any misinformation.

Contact your child's school to see how teachers are dealing with the subject. Discussions at home can build upon information s/he's learning in school.

Appropriate messages about HIV/ AIDS for a 5-year-old:

• AIDS is caused by a virus called HIV.
• Some viruses like HIV can only spread in special ways (e.g., by blood from an infected person getting into another person's body.
• We needn't avoid people who are HIV+ or who have AIDS. HIV is not easy to get. It is not spread by casual contact (e.g., shaking hands, hugging, sharing food, etc.).

We can't ignore the subject of HIV/AIDS and other STI's. Neglecting or refusing to discuss this with children may only cause unnecessary alarm. On the other hand, initiating discussion can help allay their fears while providing important information to protect their health. At the same time, you once again reinforce that you value open family communication about sexual issues.

A Little Help?

While various issues of this newsletter discuss pertinent sexual topics, by necessity the scope is limited. Quality materials are available which provide extensive information and sex education strategies. Many address specifics not covered here (e.g., concerns of single-parents, adoptive, and blended families, gay- and lesbian-headed families):

[Note: To order one of the books, simply click on the cover's image or the "click here to purchase this book" link. You will be taken to Amazon.com, where you'll be able to purchase the book you selected. Advocates for Youth will receive a five percent royalty from the sale.]