Analyze This – If your child usually does well but is having an off-day or if clean-up is always a battle – try to analyze what is really going on. Similar to figuring out anything else about a child’s behavior, you may need to do some detective work and ask some leading questions, such as: “You looked awfully tired when you came home from school; did you have as bad a day as I did?”
Or try “Every time I ask you to clean-up, you get so angry. What can we do together to make this situation easier for both of us?” Refusing to cooperate with household chores may be either a means of getting attention or an expression of unhappiness about other problems unrelated to cleaning up. Solving any underlying problems may make clean-up easier. Note that we said “easier” – it’s never really easy!
Teenager Exemption – This Handout is not meant for parents of teenagers. For many teenagers, living in a messy room is a common way of showing independence from adults and it may be counterproductive for parents to treat teenagers in the same manner as they do younger children.
Take heart – just because your teenager may be a slob today doesn’t mean s/he will grow up to be one. Many self-help books on adolescence advise parents to “pick their battles.” In this context, the best course of action may be to focus on getting teens to keep common areas of the house clean AND to ask teenagers to keep their room doors closed.
BANANAS Child Care Information & Referral • 5232 Claremont Avenue, Oakland, CA 94618 • 658-7353 • www. bananasinc.org
© 1981, BANANAS, Inc, Oakland, CA. Revised 2004.
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Reprinted with the permission of BANANAS, Inc. © 2007 BANANAS
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