Many teachers say that they don't often receive information from parents
about problems at home. Many parents say that they don't know what the
school expects from their children—or from them. Sharing information is
essential and both teachers and parents are responsible for making it
happen.
The following questions and answers can help you to get the most out of
talking to your child's teacher or with other school staff members.
Q: What do I do first?
Learn everything that you can about your child's school. The more you
know, the easier your job as a parent will be. Ask for a school handbook.
This will answer many questions that will arise over the year. If your
school doesn't have a handbook, ask questions. Ask the principal and
teachers, for example: What classes does the school offer? Which classes
are required? What are your expectations for my child? How does the school
measure student progress? Does it meet state standards? What are the
school's rules and regulations?
Ask about specific teaching methods and materials—are the methods based on
evidence about what works best in teaching reading or math? Are the science
and history textbooks up to date?
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| Sharing information is essential and both
teachers and parents are responsible for making it
happen. |
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Ask if the school has a Web site and, if so, get the address. School Web
sites can provide you with read access to all kinds of
information—schedules of events, names of people to contact, rules and
regulations and so forth.
Keep informed throughout the school year. If your schedule permits, attend
PTA or PTO meetings. If you are unable to attend, ask that the minutes of
the meetings be sent to you. Or, find out if the school makes these minutes
available on its Web site.
Q: When should I talk with my child's teacher?
Early and often. Contact your child's teacher or teachers at the beginning
of the year or as soon as you can. Get acquainted and show your
interest.
Tell teachers what they need to know about your child. If she has special
needs, make these known from the beginning.
If you notice a big change in your child's behavior, school performance or
attitude during the school year, contact the teacher immediately.
Report cards are one indication of how well your child is doing in school.
But you also need to know how things are going between report cards. For
example, if your son is having trouble in math, contact the teacher to find
out when he has his next math test and when it will be returned to him.
This allows you to address a problem before it mushrooms into something
bigger. Call the teacher if your son doesn't understand an assignment or if
he needs extra help to complete an assignment. You may also want to find
out if your child's teachers use e-mail to communicate with parents. Using
e-mail will allow you to send and receive messages at times that are most
convenience for you.
Q: What if my child has a problem, such as with homework or not
understanding what's happening in class?
Contact the teacher as soon as you suspect that your child has problem
with his schoolwork. Schools have a responsibility to keep you informed
about your child's performance and behavior and you have a right to be
upset if you don't find out until report-card time that your child is
having difficulties. On the other hand, you may figure out that a problem
exists before the teacher does. By alerting the teacher, you can work
together to solve a problem in its early stages.
Request a meeting with the teacher to discuss problems. Tell her briefly
why you want to meet. You might say, "Tim is having trouble with his social
studies homework. I'm worried about why he can't finish the assignments and
what we might do to help him." If English is your second language, you may
need to make special arrangements, such as including in the meeting someone
who is bilingual.
Approach the teacher with a cooperative spirit. Believe that the teacher
wants to help you and your child, even if you disagree about something.
Don't go to the principal without first giving the teacher a chance to work
out the problem with you and your child.
Q: How do I get the most out of parent-teacher
conferences?
Be prepared to listen as well as to talk. It helps to write out questions
before you leave home. Also jot down what you want to tell the teacher. Be
prepared to take notes during the conference and ask for an explanation if
you don't understand something.
In conferences, the teacher should offer specific details about your
child's work and progress. If your child has already received some grades,
ask how your child is being evaluated.
Talk about your child's talents, skills, hobbies, study habits and any
special sensitivities such as concern about weight or speech
difficulties.
Tell the teacher if you think your child needs special help and about any
special family situation or event that might affect your child's ability to
learn. Mention such things as a new baby, an illness or a recent or an
upcoming move.
Ask about specific ways to help your child at home. Try to have an open
mind.
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| Be prepared to take notes during the conference
and ask for an explanation if you don't understand
something. |
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At home, think about what the teacher has said and then follow up. If the
teacher has told you that your child needs to improve in certain areas,
check back in a few weeks to see how things are going.
Q: What if I don't agree with a school rule or with a teacher's
assignments?
First, don't argue with the teacher in front of your child. Set up a
meeting to talk about the issue. Before the meeting, plan what you are
going to say—why you think a rule is unfair or what exactly you don't like
about an assignment. Get your facts straight and don't rely on anger to win
your argument. Try to be positive and remain calm. Listen carefully.
If the teacher's explanation doesn't satisfy you, arrange to talk with the
principal or even the school superintendent. Do not feel intimidated by
titles or personalities. An educator's primary responsibility is to ensure
the success of each and every student in his classroom, school or
district.
Q: What's the best way for me to stay involved in my child's
school activities?
Attend school events. Go to sports events and concerts, attend
back-to-school night, parent-teacher meetings and awards events, such as a
"perfect attendance" breakfast.
Volunteer in your school. If your schedule permits, look for ways to help
out at your child's school. Schools often send home lists of ways in which
parents can get involved. Chaperones are needed for school trips or dances
(and if your child thinks it's just too embarrassing to have you on the
dance floor, sell soft drinks down the hall from the dance). School
committees need members and the school newsletter may need an editor. The
school may have councils or advisory committees that need parent
representatives. If work or other commitments make it impossible for you to
volunteer in the school, look for ways to help at home. For example, you
can make phone calls to other parents to tell them about school-related
activities or maybe help translate a school newsletter from English into
another language.
Q: What if I don't have time to volunteer as much as I would
like?
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| If work or other commitments make it impossible
for you to volunteer in the school, look for ways to help at
home. |
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Even if you can't volunteer to do work at the school building, you can
help your child learn when you're at home. The key question is, "What can I
do at home, easily and in a few minutes a day, to reinforce and extend what
the school is doing?" This is the involvement that every family can and
must provide.
The schools also need to take steps so that parents feel good about what
they're doing at home and know they're helping.