Is Your Child Too Busy?

"She's not really good at soccer and she doesn't really like it, but all her friends are doing it," reports the mother of a 9-year-old.

"If I miss a practice, even for a doctor's appointment, I get benched," a 13-year-old says.

"If my son didn't have an after-school activity every day of the week, he'd sit around eating junk and playing video games," the father of a 10-year-old says worriedly.

"I don't really like lacrosse, but I have to do it because it'll look good on my college transcript," a 16-year-old explains.

"She wants to take gymnastics, art, dance, and cooking, and she goes to afternoon religious school twice a week. I'm not pushing her. She has to eliminate something!" exclaims the mother of a 7-year-old.

"I don't have anything scheduled on Sunday afternoons. That's when I have my life," a 14-year-old reasons.

Clearly, some kids have too much to do and not enough time to do it. And it's hard to tell if it's the parents pushing or the kids trying to keep up with their peers. Whatever the culprit, one thing's for sure - something's got to give for some kids. Is your child too busy?

Why Are Kids So Busy?

For some families, kids may be driving the schedule because they don't want to feel left out. Teens may feel pressure to boost their roster of activities to get into the college of their choice.

Some parents may feel that they have to keep their kids constantly occupied, rather than give them a chance to play, explore, and learn on their own. Parents may also feel the need to sign their kids up for one more class or team for fear that their children may be missing something the other kids are getting.

Parents usually just want whatever seems best for their kids. Even when intentions are good, though, a child can easily become overscheduled. The pressure to participate in a handful of activities all the time and to "keep up with the Joneses" can be physically and emotionally exhausting, for parents and kids alike.

Of course, organized activities and sports are beneficial for kids for a number of reasons. They foster social skills and provide opportunities for play and exercise. They promote cultural enrichment and teach sportsmanship, self-discipline, and conflict resolution. Most of all, they're fun! The key is keeping them that way, and making sure that kids - and their parents - aren't becoming overwhelmed.

How Can I Tell if My Child Is Too Busy?

Sooner or later, too-busy children will begin to show signs of being overscheduled. Every child is different, but overscheduled kids may:

• feel tired, anxious, or depressed

• complain of headaches and stomachaches, which may be due to stress, missed meals, or lack of sleep

• fall behind on their schoolwork, causing their grades to drop

Overscheduling can also take a toll on kids' friendships and social lives. Family life also can suffer when too many people are running in too many directions. When one parent is driving to basketball practice and the other is carpooling to dance class, meals are missed. As a result, some families rarely eat dinner together and parents and kids may not be taking the time to stay connected. Plus, the weekly grind of chauffeuring kids all over the place and getting to one class, game, or practice after another can be downright tiresome and stressful for parents.