Character Building is an Ongoing Project

Vice And Virtue. Four tips for parents building children’s characters. 

First graders face several influences, including their peers and the media, which can make it difficult for parents to teach their child positive values and virtues. You’re not alone, though. Civilizations all the way back to Ancient Greece have struggled to solve the same problem. Here are four contemporary tips to start you off. 

1. Show an example. Avoid the old instruction, “Do as I say, not as I do.” If you want your first grader to behave positively – sharing toys, saying please and thank you, and respecting others – the best way is to do all those things yourself. Don’t just tell your child what virtue is, show them. 
2. Be positive. Children are great attention-grabbers. They will repeat anything which gets them attention. Sometimes, that means kicking a soccer ball in the kitchen when they’ve been told not to. But it could mean doing the dishes without being asked, or checking the street before crossing. Look out for opportunities to praise your first grader. Children also like to please, and if you notice their positive behavior, they will probably repeat it. 
3. Character feedback. Children can internalize negative comments, so flip the switch. Remind your first grader of the qualities you like in them, and they’ll start to see themselves that way too. “I really like how you ask your friends questions. You have a lot of generosity and an interest in people.” 
4. Lying. Most parents want their children to be honest, but they don’t follow through on children’s lies. First graders learn to lie to avoid punishment. “It wasn’t me who wrote Timothy on the wall, really.” Parents often punish mistakes, but not lies. Instead, introduce two consequences, one for the misbehavior, one for the lie. Alternatively, reward your child for telling the truth. The key is to distinguish between the bad behavior and the lie meant to cover it up. 

For more information on building your child’s character, please see the full article: