Bullying Prevention Lesson Plan: Bullied By Friends

Introduction

Distribute the handout and ask for volunteers to read aloud each of the stories. Invite brief responses.

Discussion

Ask students: Why would a person bully a friend? Is someone who does this really a friend?

Ask: Have you ever been bullied by a friend, or known someone who was? Discuss, reminding students not to mention real names.

Ask: What if you have a friend who bullies someone and you want to help? What can you say to your friend? What if your friend bullies you? What can you do? Discuss briefly. These ideas will continue to be in focus during the activity and final discussion.

Activity

Put students into groups of four. Have each group choose a Leader, a Recorder, an Announcer, and an Encourager. Say: Each group’s goal is to brainstorm four possible things people can do if they or someone they know is bullied by a friend. Explain that the role of the Leader is to keep the group focused on the task. The Encourager’s job is to affirm people for sharing ideas and to encourage everyone to take part. Recorders should write the ideas. Everyone in the group can contribute their ideas. At the end of the discussion time, the Announcers will share their groups’ ideas with the class.

After five or ten minutes, have students reconvene in a large circle. Have Announcers share with the class what their group has come up with. Ask students to comment on each group’s ideas. Discuss these and provide coaching and feedback as appropriate. Also ask about the role upstanders could play to help in such a situation. Be sure to share all of the following with students:

• If the person is bullying you, you can rehearse some assertive words you can say to that person. For example, “This bullying has to stop. I deserve to be treated with respect.” Speak to the person directly. 
• If the person is bullying someone you know, be an upstander for the person being bullied. Do this on your own or with another friend. 
• If the bullying doesn’t stop, quit hanging out with the person. Find some new friends who treat you and others with respect.
• Talk to a trusted adult who can help get the bul- lying to stop. An adult can also help the person being bullied. 
• If you are bullying a friend, get help from a trusted adult.

Wrap-Up

Remind students that they have the right to be safe. If they are ever in a situation where some- one is harming them, it’s important to go for help if nothing else has worked.

Note: Bullying between friends may occasionally be precipitated by a conflict. While mediation is rarely useful when dealing with bullying, you may want to try to mediate to get to the root of the conflict in cases where there was a real friendship that went sour. But it’s extremely important to be mindful of any feelings of intimidation the child who was bul- lied might have. If you sense that the child is afraid to speak up in front of the friend who bullied him or her, do not try to mediate; instead, speak to each child separately. Remember that all acts of bullying need to have a consequence, regardless of whether you mediate.

Bullied By Friends: Stories from Real Kids

In a national survey of more than 2,100 students in grades 3-6, kids wrote about being bullied. Here are stories from a fourth-grade girl and boy:

Girl

“At the beginning of the school year, when my friend got stressed she would hit me. She would hit me on the back, my arms, or my stomach. I told her to stop but she kept doing it. One day after class she picked up her textbook and whacked me across the back. She always says she’s sorry, but she keeps on doing it. She calls me weak because I tell her it hurts. But, if I accidentally hit her with my pen, she calls me a name and starts crying.

“The problem still isn’t solved, because she keeps doing it. My arms are sore from her hitting me. I can’t tell her I don’t want to be friends anymore. I’m afraid she’ll hurt me more.”

Boy

“This year, I’m being bullied by one of my friends. He calls me names like fatty, stupid, and more. It really hurts my feelings, but he doesn’t care. I tell him to stop but he won’t. I told the teacher, but he lied and said he wasn’t doing it. Now he’s forcing me to hang out with him. I’m stuck being his friend.

“I try to get other people to be my friend, but they’re all his friends, so I’m stuck with him. He’s still bullying me, and I don’t know what to do.

Think About It

How can these kids get help? What would you do in their situation?