Living the College Life: How do I Get Help if I Have Some Sort of Problem?

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"College life can be rocky and full of uncertainty. It is just harder if you try to tackle things alone." - Melissa Hernandez, Colby College

Whether you're a straight-A, never-drink-or-smoke, yes-ma'am kind of student or one who's just getting by, some measure of trouble is likely to find you at some point in your college career. You may be the one in trouble, or it could be a friend of yours who's caught in a tight situation. Whether you're dealing with severe depression or your roommate has just used her one phone call to tell you she's in the county jail on pot-possession charges, the decisions made in these moments of crisis can have lasting implications.

In this article, students share how they've handled their bouts with tough times, ranging from personal to legal confrontations, and a legal expert offers guidance that may be useful if you ever have to face the police.

It's easy to complain about college: It's expensive, for starters. Those big lecture classes don't appear to be the best way to learn. And the food's not always so great. But one area where colleges tend to succeed is in making help available to students. Schools offer professional help for almost any problem imaginable, from poor study habits to depression to substance abuse.

Help is always available, no matter how serious the problem. However, the schools can't always find students in need. Unless a friend or college official reports your warning signs, the only way to get help is to take the initiative to call up or show up and ask for it.

"Knowing about the college's resources for help is a vital thing," says Colby College student Melissa Hernandez , "especially on those nights where you're lying in bed, huddled in the darkness, letting your thoughts rattle deep into the late hours, praying . . . for guidance."

Melissa experienced some of those nights and didn't seek help at first; she almost dropped out of college as a result. As a Puerto Rican female from the New York City borough of Staten Island, she initially felt a sense of shame at the Maine college, located in a part of the nation not known for ethnic diversity. "Because I was Puerto Rican, if an alarm would go off in a store, they'd look at me, they'd question me. Who could I tell that to? 'Victim' wasn't a word that I would apply to myself, but I sure felt like one. Lots of little instances would occur in my social life, some based on race, some my gender, but because I didn't know who to talk to about those hurts, I considered leaving the school."

She took some time off from school, and says she was able to defeat some of those feelings with the help of several connections she made at Colby. "I learned that living at college is about knowing when to ask for help," she says with appreciation for those willing to assist at a moment's notice, from professionals to advisers to classmates. "Because at night, when you're in your dorm, sometimes nothing's better than knowing you can call somebody if you need to."

Those who want to find help on their own can contact their college's office of student services or health center. Resident advisers are also a great place to start"they're trained to point students in the right direction.

"Or, if the subject is personal, go online and utilize your college Web site to find the services available to you," advises Rebekah Lee (Rutgers University). She also urges students not to feel alone: "Problems you will have will not be unique to youeven if it seems like you are the only one adjusting [or] having trouble with grades . . . there will be many people feeling just as apprehensive as you."

Similarly, if academics are giving you trouble, contact your professor. Most will be sympathetic to students who take the time to ask politely for personal help.

Adam Abelkop (Wake Forest University) says most of his professors would like nothing more than to help him succeed. "You just can't be afraid to go into their offices during office hours and talk"they're just people trying to make a living."

Whoever you talk to, don't be afraid to seek help. "I've wandered around academic buildings in a fog because I didn't have enough courage to speak away the hurt," says Melissa Hernandez. "People are there to listen. If you like a particular dean or professor, go to them. It's whoever you feel comfortable with."