Coping with Cliques and Bullies in Middle School and High School (page 2)

Each day, at least 160,000 U.S, children miss school due to bullying, and these victims come in two types – but unfortunately, the ultimate emotional and psychological impact isn't great for either category. Teach your child the best way to handle bullies before these long-term effects take root.

What You Need to Know

Teens who become bully targets are at risk for

• feelings of isolation
• insecurity
• loss of self-esteem
• depression
• other long term effects

The bully profile:

• need to feel powerful and in control
• choose victims who dislike or fear conflict
• talk themselves out of trouble
• enjoy inflicting pain or suffering
• lack empathy
• blame their actions on somehow being provoked
• are unhappy at school and lack a sense of belonging
• are angry and impulsive
• have low self-esteem
• are likely to engage in criminality, drug use, or other problem behaviors later in life

Victim profile:

• quiet, shy, and sensitive
• less inclined to be assertive or fight back
• have few friends and lack social support
• lack confidence in physical abilities
• youngest or newest of a group
• insecure and have low self esteem
• prone to anxiety, depression and physical complaints
• can be irritating or socially awkward
• physically weak and easily submit to peer demands
• reward attacks yielding to demands and displaying distress
• are repeatedly targeted

Two types of victims:

• Passive
  • often lonely and have difficulty asserting themselves in a group
  • react to bullying by crying or withdrawing
  • seem to prefer adult company
  • tend to normalize in adulthood but maintain low self esteem and are prone to depression
• Proactive
  • tend to be hot-tempered, hyperactive, and aggressive
  • can be annoying or irritating to others
  • often provoke incidents only to become victimized by their own actions
  • may be clumsy or immature
  • may try to bully weaker peers
  • be mistaken for bullies because always in the middle of fights and arguments

How You Can Help

• Foster your child's self-esteem and confidence by highlighting strengths, encouraging realistic goal-setting, and praising both efforts and victories.
• Encourage bullied children to refrain from giving in to bullies and, when possible, to simply ignore them. Bullies are not a hard-working bunch – they like easy targets, and become bored with children who stand up for themselves and refuse to give them what they've asked, even when all they're asking is a fearful reaction.

For more on this topic, please see the full article:

http://www.education.com/reference/article/bullying-in-middle-and-high-school/