Creating an Essay Outline and Adding Details: College Admissions Essay Help (page 2)

Creating an outline begins with a reading of your inventory and prewriting notes. First, group related ideas together, looking for major topics (which can be headings), and minor ones (which can be subheadings, examples, or details). Define your major points, and rearrange them until they make sense and follow a logical progression. You'll be able to see the relationships between your ideas as you outline them and determine their importance (major point, minor point, example, detail). If you need more supporting details or facts—subcategories—you can add them here.

Standard Outline

If it has been a while since you've written one, a standard outline uses Roman and Arabic numerals and upper and lower case letters, as in the following sample outline.

This writer decided to organize her story chronologically, using physical places or objects (the bus, the camp, her home) to divide her story and to ground her emotional content. The complete essay is included in chapter 8.

1. Drive to regional soccer camp
   1. nervous about not being good enough
   2. weather makes nine-hour ride difficult
   3. find out grandma has had second stroke and is in hospital
      1. challenge is more emotional than physical
2. At camp
   1. not playing well; on reserve team
   2. phone calls from mom usually cheer me up
   3. mom tells me grandma is in a coma
      1. thinking about grandma is overwhelming
   4. while on field, see whole family approaching
   5. realize grandma has died
3. Home for the funeral
   1. comfort my aunt after the service
      1. realize JT am support for her
   2. lucky to have my immediate family, unlike my aunt
   3. don't have the right words to say to her
4. Return to camp
   1. grandma would have panted me to finish what I started
      1. feel obligated to follow through and take last chance to get chosen
      2. play in last game, on advanced team
   2. I am not selected
5. Return home
   1. see that some good can come out of situation
      1. able to help my aunt
      2. overcome my own grief
      3. have desire to continue to try to succeed

Once you've completed your outline, revise and refine it by taking the following steps:

• Write down your overall goal for your essay. What are you trying to tell the admissions committee about yourself that the rest of your application didn't reveal?
• Read through your outline. While reading, circle, underline, or highlight your major points or images. Do they all support your goal?
• Consider your focus. Can your story be well told in about 500 words or are you trying to cover too much? Now is the time to get even narrower if need be.
• Brainstorm details. Include thoughts that will accurately and concisely express your major points. Write them down in the margin of your out-line, or use a separate sheet.
• Use your outline to guide your writing. Don't allow yourself to stray from your goal, or your major points.

Vague and Detailed Sentences

Adding a few details can make boring sentences come alive. Note how the following details can express a unique personality and point of view.

Before: I spent the summer working at Wal-Mart.
After: Eight hours a day, five days a week, I worked at Wal-Mart last summer, dreaming of the sun that would be setting as I punched out.

Before: Math is my favorite subject.
After: Calculus made me think in ways I never had before, and made me realize that I wanted to follow a career path that involves mathematics.

Before: I really want to attend XYZ University.
After: The two most important reasons for my decision to apply to XYZ University are its relationship to its inner city community, and the quality of the teaching staff in the Economics Department.

Before: Playing varsity baseball has taught me how to be part of a team.
After: I learned many valuable lessons from my teammates during my three years playing varsity baseball.